Argument Essay-
“The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve. This sanctuary is essential to the survival of the 300 bird species that live in our area. Although only a small percentage of the land will be sold to Smith, the proposed development will have disastrous consequences for our area. The company plans to build a small hotel on the land. Although they have promised to ensure the preservation of the sanctuary, there is no way that their plans will do anything but harm the sanctuary. There are no circumstances under which this sale will benefit our community, which relies on tourists who visit.”
In this argument, the author through Environmental Protection Group (EPG) states that the Smith Corporation (SC) should not be allowed to do any kind of development in the land owned by Youngtown Wildlife Preserve (YWP). His concerns are the adverse effects that any interference to the land will cause to 300 bird species living in the area and disasterous consequences that it will inflict on the YWP. Consequently he concludes that if such developments are permitted, the Youngtown will lose its greatest source of income which comes from tourists visiting the magnificent bird population. At first glance, the author's reasoning and recommendation looks plausible and cogent but after conducting a thorough scrutiny and looking carefully into the details, the arguments lacks any sort of evidence, facts and figures, any good analogy to similar situation and is rife with several holes and false assumptions. There are several questions that need to be answered before seriously considering and accepting author's recommendation.
Firstly, the author fails to point out the development activities that have already been completed or under progress by SC or some other corporation. If there has been any such prior development, then we need to investigate if that has caused any disruption to the ecology of the town. In case of no prior such activities, how can the author claim that any kind of future development is going to harm the symbiosys of the town by affecting the environment.
Secondly, the author mentions that there are 300 bird species in the YWP area. But he does not state the source of this number. Unless we know the authenticity of this number, we can not say whether these many birds are going to be affected or not. Additionally he does not aver whether the birds in that area are of unique species and not found elsewhere. If its true that the birds are unique then it is justifiable to some extent to preserve the wildlife at any cost.
Thirdly, the author only says that very small percentage of land has been sold to SC. He does not tender us the exact number. If the land area bought by Smith Corporation is very small in comparion to the area of wildlife sanctuary, it is not going to make any difference to the YWP. Furthermore, the author states that SC is just going to build a hotel on the land and the corporation has promised to ensure to take the necessary steps required to preserve the sanctuary. In that case, it is blatantly wrong and completely a case of mistrust to not believe in the promises made by the corporation. Did the author have any kind of prior experience of working with SC or did he come across any kind of example or development activites undertaken by SC which were not done according to the promises made. If not, author should trust the corporation and should work with them in order to make sure there is not going to be any deleterious effects to the wildlife sanctuary.
Finally, author's misgivings and concerns are not looking justifiable. Before concluding that the building of hotel will damage the wildlife preserve and thus drive away the prospective and current tourists, he should conduct a survey where he can find out whether a hotel is needed or not needed in that area. It may just happen that the town has been less number of tourists because there was no good hotel before and building a hotel with good facilities and amenities very near to the wildlife preserve area may flurish the tourism. The hotel in colloboration with YWP authorities can provide better bird sighting facilities to the tourism thus helping the overall cause and the community.
So in the conclusion, I would like to say that the argument lacks any kind of evidence and is full of unwarranted doubts and concerns. The author does not provide any kind of facts, figure to support his argument. There are several questions stated above that need to be answered before accepting author's recommendation.
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Sentence: At first glance, the author's reasoning and recommendation looks plausible and cogent but after conducting a thorough scrutiny and looking carefully into the details, the arguments lacks any sort of evidence, facts and figures, any good analogy to similar situation and is rife with several holes and false assumptions.
Description: The fragment arguments lacks any is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace lacks with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Sentence: In that case, it is blatantly wrong and completely a case of mistrust to not believe in the promises made by the corporation.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a negator
Suggestion: Refer to to and not
Sentence: Did the author have any kind of prior experience of working with SC or did he come across any kind of example or development activites undertaken by SC which were not done according to the promises made.
Description: The fragment he come across is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace come with verb, past tense
Sentence: In case of no prior such activities, how can the author claim that any kind of future development is going to harm the symbiosys of the town by affecting the environment.
Error: symbiosys Suggestion: symbiosis
Sentence: If the land area bought by Smith Corporation is very small in comparion to the area of wildlife sanctuary, it is not going to make any difference to the YWP.
Error: comparion Suggestion: companion
Sentence: Did the author have any kind of prior experience of working with SC or did he come across any kind of example or development activites undertaken by SC which were not done according to the promises made.
Error: activites Suggestion: activities
flaws:
No. of Words: 673 350
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Three reasons are enough to support.
For issue essays, you can have 450+ words, for argument essays, 400+ words.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 673 350
No. of Characters: 3224 1500
No. of Different Words: 280 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.093 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.79 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.701 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 211 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 163 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 123 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 79 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.885 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.76 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.769 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.303 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.525 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.153 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5