Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is indisputable taken for granted that being competitive, as we all are aware and have probably experienced, not only makes a fundamental contribution to be more successful in divers levels of life, but also can be considered as one of an inseparable parts of every individual’s survival. There are number of people admitting that children should be persuaded to be more competitive. However the rest are of the point of view that the children who know how to co-ordinate with others are more successful than the others. Psychologists say that although children who have a sense of competition should be admired, they should learn to collaborate.
At first glance, I would like to mention one of the positive aspects of being competitive which is being encouraged to try more to be the best. Children who are competitive try to learn more and develop their skills to win the competition which leads them to improve more quickly and also it provides an opt ground for them to obtain good qualifications.
Secondly, the one who agree with the idea of children should be taught to be more co-operative, commonly tend to look at the bright side. They believe that children with a sense of collaborating know how to help their friends in their weaknesses and it makes them to be satisfied while they are improved beside their bystanders not only them. It seems fair to assume children who are competitive they become selfish and just desire themselves to be the only winner.
All in all, all these long stories come down to the fact that competition is good but one of the main principles of life is being coordinative. I personally advice that all the teachers and parents should implement a drastic effort to teach children to be collaborative in all levels of their lives on account of the fact that in these situation there are numerous people helping each other to achieve their aims not only a person trying to get his goal
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Sentence: However the rest are of the point of view that the children who know how to co-ordinate with others are more successful than the others.
Description: The fragment However the rest is not usually followed by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is
Sentence: However the rest are of the point of view that the children who know how to co-ordinate with others are more successful than the others.
Error: co-ordinate Suggestion: coordinate
Sentence: Secondly, the one who agree with the idea of children should be taught to be more co-operative, commonly tend to look at the bright side.
Error: co-operative Suggestion: cooperative
You didn't support enough your ideas. like in second paragraph, there are only two sentences.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 333 350
No. of Characters: 1574 1500
No. of Different Words: 167 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.272 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.727 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.774 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 99 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 71 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.273 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.694 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.407 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.641 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.12 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5