Issue Essay
"Those who are the most financially successful have worked the hardest."
Hard work is said to be the most important element in realizing success however we can clearly see success is not an indicator of wealth. To work hard and to be financially successful does not go hand in hand. A person who works hard is probably going to be rich someday if that is what he aims to do however a rich man might not have worked at all. We can see this disparity of thoughts clearly in the world in front of us.
Wealth is a sure indicator of affluence however we cannot claim it to be directly proportional to the work done to gain wealth, citing a boy who was born with a silver spoon in a rich family whose father owns wealth enough to sustain many generations forth we can clearly see such a child need not work hard, he may not work altogether if he that is his will. However a prodigal son of an affluent father might spend all the money and be rich no more thus to sustain such financial stature requires hard work too.
It takes a mere stroke of genius and astute mind to be financial successful, we can see from examples of computer geniuses like Bill Gates and how he had a genius idea to which he incorporated a smart way to separate out from IBM and used IBM as a platform for his growth into a billionaire. He did work hard but maybe not as hard as some other man who could not see such wealth realize in his path. All it required was an idea like the man who patented the mechanism by which we open soft drink cans and lived ever after with royalty everywhere his patent was used on cans, he was financially successful but there is only one simple idea that leads to this wealth and not hard work.
Financial success can also be a matter of pure luck or they say "strike gold”. The "sheiks" of the Middle East are one such example of wealth by luck. They or their forefathers struck black gold in form of petroleum and today they are amongst the richest people on the planet. They build large enterprises on something that came to them naturally, they must not have to work to obtain the wealth, they only work to increase and sustain their financial stature.
Finally financial success can also be attributed to corruption and malpractises.The underworld today is one of the richest enterprises but their wealth comes at the price of corruption and a threat to peace and human life altogether. The politicians who have become wealthy are more often than not found to have used some corrupt ways to accumulate wealth while playing with human emotions and trampling on the promises they make all in order to route the tax payers money into their own bank accounts.
We can see by these examples that though hard work is a prime constituent and the right way to gain financial success it may not always be the only way thus concluding that people who are most financially successful may not have worked the hardest. There are in fact many other ways of becoming financially successful maybe not all are the right way and maybe not all are available to every person except the way of hard work.
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2012-08-03 | vrunda | 48 | view |
2012-05-13 | luciferabby | 85 | view |
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Sentence: Wealth is a sure indicator of affluence however we cannot claim it to be directly proportional to the work done to gain wealth, citing a boy who was born with a silver spoon in a rich family whose father owns wealth enough to sustain many generations forth we can clearly see such a child need not work hard, he may not work altogether if he that is his will.
Description: The tag a pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by that
Suggestion: Refer to he and that
Sentence: However a prodigal son of an affluent father might spend all the money and be rich no more thus to sustain such financial stature requires hard work too.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to rich and no
Description: The fragment more thus to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace thus with than
Sentence: Finally financial success can also be attributed to corruption and malpractises.The underworld today is one of the richest enterprises but their wealth comes at the price of corruption and a threat to peace and human life altogether.
Error: malpractises Suggestion: malpractice
flaws:
No. of Words: 558 350 (did you write the essay in half an hour?)
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 558 350
No. of Characters: 2429 1500
No. of Different Words: 251 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.86 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.353 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.362 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 138 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.824 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.872 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.341 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.62 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.169 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5