For successful development of a country, should a government focus its budget more on very young children education rather than on universities?
Whether the government should concentrate it's budget more on very young children education or on universities. It depends. For China, In my opinion, we should definitely focus on the university's education. I've explored my there fundamental ones as follows.
The current statu of implements remains one of the main reasons why the government should pay their attention on the university. As is known to all, China occupy a large number of population of the amount all over the world. Therefore, we have to provide more faculties for students so that promise the average usage pur student in school. Unfortunately,the truth is disappointing.In fact, our machine in the classroom is out of date, we have too much students in one class to pledge our opputunity to communication with teachers on class. To give you another significant example, we don't have the air conditions no matter in the dormitary or classroom, which unboubtly play essential elements on enhancing our learning environment. Under this circumstance, numerous studens appeal to install it, depressingly, the school haven't take any action yet.
Meanwhile, take the teacher's capability into account, the government should also finance them to further study. Nowadays, the teacher's salary is extraordinary low among all kinds of employees work for country. Consiquently, the instructors can't afford their life unless benefit from the business, which lead to their decentralization. Furthermore, although the world has been changing extremly fast, the teaching method doesn't keep the step. There's a successful instance, LiLiang, he is the most famous instructor in our school, who have delivered thousands of lectures at plenty of universities from the whole country. From my perspective, his experience of reaserching aboroad attribute to his achievement. In generalize, to solve this problem, firsty, increase teacher's salary, then finance them to futher study in developed country.
Last but not least, the government shold take responsibility for the school practice.
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Sentence: As is known to all, China occupy a large number of population of the amount all over the world.
Description: The fragment China occupy a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace occupy with verb, past tense
Sentence: In generalize, to solve this problem, firsty, increase teacher's salary, then finance them to futher study in developed country.
Description: A preposition is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to In and generalize
Sentence: Unfortunately,the truth is disappointing.In fact, our machine in the classroom is out of date, we have too much students in one class to pledge our opputunity to communication with teachers on class.
Error: opputunity Suggestion: opportunity
Sentence: To give you another significant example, we don't have the air conditions no matter in the dormitary or classroom, which unboubtly play essential elements on enhancing our learning environment.
Error: unboubtly Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: dormitary Suggestion: dormitory
Sentence: Under this circumstance, numerous studens appeal to install it, depressingly, the school haven't take any action yet.
Error: studens Suggestion: student
Sentence: Furthermore, although the world has been changing extremly fast, the teaching method doesn't keep the step.
Error: extremly Suggestion: extremely
Sentence: From my perspective, his experience of reaserching aboroad attribute to his achievement.
Error: aboroad Suggestion: abroad
Error: reaserching Suggestion: researching
Sentence: In generalize, to solve this problem, firsty, increase teacher's salary, then finance them to futher study in developed country.
Error: firsty Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: futher Suggestion: further
Sentence: Last but not least, the government shold take responsibility for the school practice.
Error: shold Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.271 0.35
Some sentences are not developed smoothly.
Need to improve the language and sentences.
Read a good example:
http://www.testbig.com/toefl-essays/successful-development-country-shou…
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 318 350
No. of Characters: 1681 1500
No. of Different Words: 207 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.223 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.286 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.03 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 128 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 74 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.272 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.389 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.271 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.467 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.115 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5