Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
The recommendation given firmly asserts Pirouttes Ballet school as the clear choice for any child in Elmtown. This is based on the statement provided that the school offers the most intensive program, and all the teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies. Also they school claims that many of its students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies. However, given the lack of evidence one might find this statement hard to believe.
The selection of a dance school cannot be simply based on the fact that the teachers have danced in various prestigious dance companies around the world. The teacher might be a ballet prodigy, but what matters here is how she instructs her students so that they might turn out to be successful ballet dancers. Imparting knowledge to students is a totally different art. Even the great cricketer Sachin Tendulkar might turn out to be a poor teacher, although he might have attained milestones in his career, this does not ensure that he would succeed as a coach.
Also the school has not provided any information on the pricing structure. Price is a important factor that parents consider before sending their students to a particular school. Many families might not have the money to send their students to such expensive ballet schools. The program structure has also not been specified. The term 'intensive' should be defined effectively, only then can parents decide whether to send their students to the ballet school.
The school states that many of its students have gone out to become successful professional dancers. But here no statistical data has been provide. A proper percentage of number of successful students and number of enrolled students should be provided to lure children into their program.
The school also does not explicitly mention the benefits over other dance schools in the town. The contention that the school makes, that it is the best in Elmtown has no strong facts to back it.
Thus unless provided with proper evidence and proper statistical data, parents should not take a risk on venturing into the unknown and should not send their children to Pirouettes Ballet School.
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Sentence: Also they school claims that many of its students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to they and school
flaws:
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Attribute Value Ideal
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