In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Doyou think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specificreasons and details.

Essay topics:

In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do
you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific
reasons and details.

The final statistical study shows that the percentage of working of teenager students is in increase than before. Some people refutes working of students, they believe that it affect their studying. I don’t deny it may have a negative impact in their studying but I a strongly agree with this idea, because it has many advantages for their future. I will mention in my essay the benefit the working of teenager.

First of all, working at this age is very good idea, especially in preparing them for their future. The most useful thing that they learn from their working at this age is responsibility. If teenagers knew how it’s hard to collect an amount of money, and how much their parent work very hard to pay for their school and all needs, they will aware how and where they consume this money. Working of teenagers is a good teacher for them to become responsible guys, it teach them to pay their money in right place and suitable time, because they knew the efforts to have money.

Second, working of teenagers students make them more independent, it’s a great benefit that prepares them for their future life. Independent is very essential characters, so if they depend on their self without any need to their parents for solving their problems and doing their duties, that will help them to build up their personality and ready to face the difficulties of the life. For instance, my friend cannot take any decision by himself, he always return back to his parent to decide rather than him even in the simple thing, I wonder how he will open his own job and continue his life, it’s really difficult.

Finally, working is the way to know new people of different culture and knowledge and build up new friendship, that’s mean acquiring knew experience. It opens a wider range in how you must deal with the people of different characteristic, because no one is prefect, everyone has a good and dark side and if you know how to transact with them that make the coming life easier, since no one can live alone without mix with others.

To sum up, some people believe that working of teenagers students is bad ideas, because it may affect their studying in negative way, but I think if the students work at that age and manage with their study, that will make them ready to their future due to its advantages. a

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2013-09-07 zeezoo 80 view
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Comments

Sentence: Some people refutes working of students, they believe that it affect their studying.
Description: The fragment it affect their is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace affect with verb, past tense

Sentence: I don't deny it may have a negative impact in their studying but I a strongly agree with this idea, because it has many advantages for their future.
Description: The tag a pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a
Suggestion: Refer to I and a

working at this age is very good idea,
working at this age is a very good idea,

Sentence: Working of teenagers is a good teacher for them to become responsible guys, it teach them to pay their money in right place and suitable time, because they knew the efforts to have money.
Description: The fragment it teach them is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace teach with verb, past tense

he always return back to his parent to
he always returns back to his parent to

Sentence: It opens a wider range in how you must deal with the people of different characteristic, because no one is prefect, everyone has a good and dark side and if you know how to transact with them that make the coming life easier, since no one can live alone without mix with others.
Error: prefect Suggestion: perfect

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2

Read a good grammar book.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 412 350
No. of Characters: 1858 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.505 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.51 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.32 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 114 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.429 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.819 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.643 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.361 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.625 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.208 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5