"All students should be required to take the driver's education course at Centerville High School. In the past two years several accidents in and around Centerville have involved teenage drivers. Since a number of parents in Centerville have complained that they are too busy to teach their teenagers to drive, some other instruction is necessary to ensure that these teenagers are safe drivers. Although there are two driving schools in Centerville, parents on a tight budget cannot afford to pay for driving instruction. Therefore an effective and mandatory program sponsored by the high school is the only solution to this serious problem."
According to the author’s claim, all students should be obliged to take a course of driving at Centerville High School; because in the past two years, a lot of accidents have happened while a vast number of teenagers have been involved in them. Since parents are too bussy to teach their teenagers how to drive, they asked high school to do this job. Moreover, they are not affordable enough to pay for the special schools which learn driving. Based on this statement, a lot of questions will be raised and must be answered that could prove the claim of author.
Firstly, the author mentiones that the students in high school must take a driving course. However, he/she never explains that are the students who are mostly teenagers, permitted to drive? In fact, are they in a legitimate age which the rules allow them to drive? This is the first and foremost question and hypothesis which must be answered and considered; otherwise, the other part of claims will not be acceptable any more.
Secondly, there is another question. Have all the students been the course of the accidents which teenagers were involved? In fact, how much is the role and effect of teenagers in these accidents? Are the teenagers blamed for all them? Or another part of it is blamed? These questions must be also answered and taken into account that we could have a better judgment of the statement.
Thirdly, there would other significant questions. Are the schools, specially high schools permitted to offer students this kind of course as an obliging one? Or it is not legal based on the curriculmn and policy of the school? Or in an alternative way, it could be assumed as an arbitrary course that students could take it. These questions also have a important effect on the judgment of the statement that is well prepared or not.
As a conclusion, this statement that students should be required to take a driver’s course education is not appropriately expanded. It is needed to be more comprehencive that could be acceptable. Moreover, there are nomerous questions that must be answered and taken into account for a better student.
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| 2011-12-04 | hilia1209 | 80 | view |
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Sentence: Since parents are too bussy to teach their teenagers how to drive, they asked high school to do this job.
Error: bussy Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Firstly, the author mentiones that the students in high school must take a driving course.
Error: mentiones Suggestion: mentions
Sentence: Or it is not legal based on the curriculmn and policy of the school?
Error: curriculmn Suggestion: curricular ?
Sentence: It is needed to be more comprehencive that could be acceptable.
Error: comprehencive Suggestion: comprehensive
Sentence: Moreover, there are nomerous questions that must be answered and taken into account for a better student.
Error: nomerous Suggestion: numerous
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Different Words: 159 200
Well, you need to argue according to the statement. Find flaws from the statement.
statement --In the past two years several accidents in and around Centerville have involved teenage drivers.
argument 1 -- it doesn't mean those teenage drivers with accidents didn't have driving instruction. Maybe because of bad road condition.
argument 2 -- it doesn't mean those teenage drivers with accidents are from Centerville, maybe they are from other cities.
statement --Since a number of parents in Centerville have complained that they are too busy to teach their teenagers to drive.
argument 3 -- Maybe the parents teach their teenagers wrongly. If they can teach them correctly, it doesn't need school's program.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ?
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 363 350
No. of Characters: 1706 1500
No. of Different Words: 159 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.365 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.7 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.543 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 116 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.89 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.591 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.289 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.491 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.084 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5