"Success, whether academic or professional, involves an ability to survive in a new environment and, eventually, to change it."
"Success" is a precious concept which is mostly hard to achieve. Every body can be successful in his/her academic or professional career until makes a lot of effort to reach the goals; however, how far he/she could be prosperous? In fact, if the person has to change his/her environment of education or profession, will be also called as a successful person or not? Some researchs have been evolved and shown that all the people who have the ability to adapt themselves to the new environment and space will finally be successful in their career or studying. This will even continue in a level until he/she could eventually change the environment.
Transition from one space to a new one always has been a debating issue for humane race. Remember the first day of your primary school. I still vividly remind that day which I had to leave my mother and family even for a few hours and, I was always crying and even did not let my mother to leave me! However, after a few weeks, I could adapt myself to the school environment; I found new friends and, I could make a good relation with my teacher. After this adaption, I also could concentrate in my lessons and I progressed myself in both educational and social behavior. Against the expectation of my mother and I, I could present myself as a prosperous student in the class and I was admitted by my teacher. Hence, I could properly survive myself in the new environment and could achieve a vast number of accomplishments.
Moreover, when you can express yourself as a person who could be successful in the new environment, you also would be capable to penetrate to and, even control it. I also remind the days that I could make a lot of friends in my primary school. We were very connected together and most of our actions, were originated based on personal behavior. I still remember the day that I could convince the other student and friends that made a pressure to the teacher for asking her not ot get a test of us. I could appropriately leader, control and direct others in this issue and I finally could change the result into my wanted idea. Therefore, I not only could mak an adaption to a new environment, but also could change some directions toward my attituds.
As a summary, success is not express the present situation that you have on it, but it is also contain for new environmental and space that would be in. if you could adapt and survive yourself in new conditions, you will be counted as a prosperous person; in addition, through the time, you also would be powerful to get the control of it and change it based on your idea.
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2012-11-14 | iqbal244340 | 65 | view |
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Sentence: I could appropriately leader, control and direct others in this issue and I finally could change the result into my wanted idea.
Description: The fragment could appropriately leader is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace appropriately with adjective
Sentence: Therefore, I not only could mak an adaption to a new environment, but also could change some directions toward my attituds.
Error: attituds Suggestion: attitude
flaws:
More arguments wanted in essay body. Only examples are not good enough.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 471 350
No. of Characters: 2078 1500
No. of Different Words: 202 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.659 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.412 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.596 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 139 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.789 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.903 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.737 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.366 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.525 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.204 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5