Some people like to do only what they already do well. Other people prefer to try new things and take risks. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.
There are a vast number of people who never try to enhance their situation. They are always satisfied with their current position and conditions and even might never think about enrichment. These kind of people have a characteristic who are chiefly static, not active and not attracted in doing new things; however, I have always been allured in trying new things and events. I mostly make a lot of efforts to gain new things that could increase my knowledge and experience in different aspects. Therefore, I really favor the preference of trying new things and taking risks because of the subsequent reasons:
Firstly, it is one of my inherent features that I am indeed interested in taking risk and trying new facets; in fact, I honestly abhor from staying merely in a distinct position and I love to enter into the new space and environment to improve my knowledge and experience. I have been working for a period of time in an engineering company as an engineer in tunnel design. I stood in this position approximately for three years; but, through the time, I feel that I am getting bored every day and, I am not able to continue my job in the current manner; hence, I feel a mighty need to get a new position in my company. Afterward, I asked my boss to give me a new responsibility and, he accepted it willingly. It is almost three years that I am the senior engineer in bridge design group which in this time, I not only could attain a lot of experience and knowledge, but also have feeling of freshness in my soul. Hence, my keen in moving forward and moreover, hating from staying a fixed position, help me to take risks and try new things.
Secondly, as I mentioned, I started my job as a member of bridge design group. It is worth to mention that I had not enough knowledge in this case; but, I accepted this risk for gaining more things. After initiating this responsibility, I could take an overall view to this subject. In addition, I could present myself as a professional in this issue and, I think will be chosen as the head of group in a few years! All of this happening are because of this fact that I have been always supporting this idea that “every person needs to move forward in his/her life”. In another word, taking risks and trying new things will cause that people improve in their professionality, even in the cases that they have no enough knowledge and experience.
As a summary, I truly prefer that try new facets and taking risks; because it is a part of my nature that never admit static position and not moving for a long time; moreover, I will be able to enlarge my knowledge and gain new experience by trying new thing even if it would be needed for taking a tremendous risk.
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Sentence: In addition, I could present myself as a professional in this issue and, I think will be chosen as the head of group in a few years
Description: A verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive is not usually followed by a modal auxillary
Suggestion: Refer to think and will
flaws:
1. Need to polish sentences. Most of the sentences start with the subject 'I' in essay body.
2. What is the topic sentence for the second reason?
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 493 350
No. of Characters: 2165 1500
No. of Different Words: 213 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.712 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.391 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.544 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 149 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.389 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.413 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.384 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.529 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.128 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5