Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
Who has not found interesting things in some lecture in the school at least once? Think about it and it is probable that you realize that this fact could have made you a well-rounded student. Formal education, type of education where we can find schools or colleges, involves prepared people who teach pupils with correct pedadogy to fulfill their mind development. Therefore, although some people could feel restrain in certain way in that system, formal education allows students widening their knowledge and developing themselves.
First and foremost, formal education complements the basic education given by parents in the early ages of a child. This situation permits children to receive "the weapons" necessary to complete a correct as mental as physical development. For example, when a child enters for first time to school, he/she learnt to communicate with their friends and socialize. In addition, teachers helps children to know themselves. Furthermore, in the academic life in college, people tend to receive additional knowledge (not technical) which complements their development as well, as for example knowledge different from their mayor in order to form a well-rounded student. By this means, formal education assists students to improve their capacities and fulfill, by some training, an suitable development.
Secondly, formal education allows also expandind the previous knowledge adquired in the familiar environment. Contrasting with the idea of a restraint of mind, schools usually broaden the acquaintance of persons. A way of informal education as home education could lead students to a limited knowledge because the limitations of the parents. On the other hand, professional educators in schools or collegue train students with new knowledge which will serve to be applied in their work life.
However, it is true that students sometimes have to accept rules given the institution where they go in order to receive new knowledge. For instance, having short haircut is imperative in many schools. Students do not find any reason for this mandatory norm because it is not necessary to have a correct academic development inside the institution. This situation could make students form a straight way of thinking about the own appearance. Besides, catholic schools overwhelm students with too much religion. Parents tend to register children in this type of schools by thinking they will receive a appropiate education, but these schools constrain in certain way the own form of thinking of their children.
Formal education has been the gateway to have a suitable learning. Receiving as a complement for the personal development as new acquaintance, the formal education has helped students to be better persons as mentally as spiritually.
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Sentence: In addition, teachers helps children to know themselves.
Description: The fragment teachers helps children is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace helps with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Sentence: Formal education, type of education where we can find schools or colleges, involves prepared people who teach pupils with correct pedadogy to fulfill their mind development.
Error: pedadogy Suggestion: pedagogy
Sentence: Secondly, formal education allows also expandind the previous knowledge adquired in the familiar environment.
Error: expandind Suggestion: expanding
Error: adquired Suggestion: acquired
Sentence: On the other hand, professional educators in schools or collegue train students with new knowledge which will serve to be applied in their work life.
Error: collegue Suggestion: college
Sentence: Parents tend to register children in this type of schools by thinking they will receive a appropiate education, but these schools constrain in certain way the own form of thinking of their children.
Error: appropiate Suggestion: appropriate
flaws:
Need to focus on 'freeing people’s mind and spirit', not the advantages of formal education.
1.Formal education plays a very important role in the process of freeing the mind and spirit. Basic knowledge, which can only be attained through formal education, is the prerequisite for freeing people’s mind and spirit.
2. If it is deficient in knowledge, absolute free mind will lead to total simplicity and naivety.
3. Formal education still has some defects, however, it can be improved.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 431 350
No. of Characters: 2286 1500
No. of Different Words: 213 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.556 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.304 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.814 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 185 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 159 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 114 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 66 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.591 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.062 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.545 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.3 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.502 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.073 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5