The following appeared in an editorial in the Bayside Sentinel.
“Bayside citizens need to consider raising local taxes if they want to see improvements in the Bayside School District. Test scores, graduation and college admission rates, and a number of other indicators have long made it clear that the Bayside School District is doing poor job educating our youth. Our schools look run down. Windows are broken, bathrooms unusable, and classroom equipment hopelessly out of date. Yet just across the Bay, in New Harbor, school facilities are up-to-date and in good condition. The difference is money; New Harbor spends twenty-seven percent more per student than Bayside does, and test scores and other indicators of student performance are stronger in New Harbor as well.”
Good performance of students can be evident in test scores, number of students that graduate from a school as well as the number of the graduates that attained admission to college. The assumptions made are that Bayside School District have paucity in finance and that has contributed to the poor performance of their students. Another assumption that has been presented in the assertion is that New Harbor did well academically because they had sufficient finance and that would be the same story for Bayside if they get funds from the citizens by raising local taxes. The argument seems logical at first glance but when thought about critically, it is not cogent.
To begin with, the author believes raising local taxes is the only way to get money for the school. It will not sit well with citizens to raise taxes all of a sudden and even if it does, it will depend on the calibre of citizens in Bayside. If most of the citizens are involved in high income earning jobs, that might not be a problem but it will not be the same case if most are low income earners. There could be other alternatives to getting money for the school. It could be organizing events to raise funds or appealing to high organizations and companies that are seeking to be known to sponsor the school as a way of advertising. As a matter of fact, earning money for the school is not a sure way to see improvement in student performance as other factors could contribute to their poor performance. When this is viewed objectively, it could happen that the way of teaching is not effective or the students do not concentrate on studies as they are supposed to. For instance, they might be destructed by social media or the school tends to focus on other things such as games and talent shows which takes their focus off their books. It could also be that parents and guardians do not encourage their children nor oversee their academic work.
Also, nothing shows the authenticity of the evidence that test scores, graduation and college admission rates are bad though those are indicators of student performance. It was simply stated without any basis. When comparing results of two schools, what comes into play is the exam they took and those that scored it. There was no evidence that the exam they took was the same – neither was the scoring board mentioned. In addition to the claim, stating that the rate of students that graduated and attained admission to college was not the best in Bayside schools was not clear. The number of students in New Harbor might be far larger than in Bayside, therefore, increasing the number of students in New Harbor that graduated or attended college.
Moreover, the claim that insufficiency of money is the issue to be handled is not quite right. The thought of poor management on the part of school authority as well as improper care by the students and lack of maintenance will discourage anybody from giving money to the school. That aspect of the school should be surveyed before huge sums of money is spent. If the facilities will be destroyed in a short time, it would be a waste of time and money to consider that option. Aside that, the money spent in Bayside in comparison to New Harbor was not made clear enough. If the amount of money spent per student in Bayside was stated, the claim that twenty-seven percent more spent on students in New Harbor will be evaluated.
The argument presented seem logical but the assumptions made have a lot of quirks. An alternative to taxes can be considered as well as the authenticity of the survey should be given. Making a sound comparison between the schools, considering objectively the causes of the poor performance of the students, and finding out the effectiveness of the authority of the school in management will make the assertion more tangible.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 426, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... will make the assertion more tangible.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, moreover, so, then, therefore, well, for instance, in addition, such as, as a matter of fact, as well as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 43.0 19.6327345309 219% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.9520958084 162% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 26.0 13.6137724551 191% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 28.8173652695 167% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 90.0 55.5748502994 162% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3171.0 2260.96107784 140% => OK
No of words: 667.0 441.139720559 151% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.75412293853 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.08196252842 4.56307096286 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6165024753 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 284.0 204.123752495 139% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.425787106447 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 978.3 705.55239521 139% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.2977584303 57.8364921388 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.25 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.8214285714 23.324526521 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.03571428571 5.70786347227 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 16.0 6.88822355289 232% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.207378704037 0.218282227539 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0568230751956 0.0743258471296 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0519108571527 0.0701772020484 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.122940100633 0.128457276422 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0632789319383 0.0628817314937 101% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 14.3799401198 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.57 12.5979740519 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.85 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 130.0 98.500998004 132% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.