Some people think that family is the most important influence on young adults. Other people think that friends are the most important influence in young adults. Which view do you agree with? Use examples to support your position.
Although a lot of people strongly believe that children influenced by society due to its domination on every field, it seems to me that parents still play the key role in children’s training, for they resemble like a hero at first stages of life. The basis of my view will elaborate on the next paragraphs.
To begin with, period of vulnerability in children training classifies in two different categories. The first category is the initial seven years of their age. In these years, child sees their parents much more than other relatives let alone he saw other friends. In such moments, they observe the behavior of parents, their challenging, gracious, and general interactions. Imagine a child opened his eyes in an anxious space, how can he have calm spirits? Such families by separated relationships will not provide an appropriate environment for training of ordinary persons.
Additionally, society cannot be ineffective in growing the fruits of parents. Since in the next years pupils should go to school, they are much more under teachers and school’s surveillance. At this age friend’s role become more accentuated in comparison with parent’s role; however, hadn't children had strength foundation before, they would have confronted with plenty of social obstacles in front of their growth. For example, if pessimist soul inspires through a child during his childhood, he will not be optimistic person dealing with his friend when he faced with an ambivalent situation. Such reaction does not occur consciously; most of times persons themselves suffer from such feelings.
All in all, to put the issue into a nut shell, either society, or parent has vital role in the children training; but, the basis of personality forms in the first years of childhood.
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flaws:
The essay is not exactly right on the topic. It is 'young adults', not 'children'
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ?
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 288 350
No. of Characters: 1440 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.12 4.7
Average Word Length: 5 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.695 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 101 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.571 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.14 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.503 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.063 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5