Cultural differences in American and Vietnamese parenting style

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I'm writing an essay about cultural differences in parenting style between American parents and Vietnamese counterparts. In this essay, I'm required to explain these differences with a focus on analyzing the associated aspects of the American culture.
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Parents from around the world have wide-reaching feelings of love, warmth, and hope for their children. However, cultural values and expectations can affect how these emotions are conveyed because parenting style is a cultural category. In general, parenting style refers to the manner in which parents use to raise their children. Learning about cultural variations in parenting is to offer some positive alternatives for those things parents would like to change.

There are a number of differences in parenting styles between American and Vietnamese parents. In the following sections, I will first give some background knowledge about different types of child-rearing. After that, two significant differences in parenting style of American and Vietnamese parents will be discussed. Finally, I will end by explaining the origin of these cultural characteristics of Vietnamese and American parents in comparison with each other.

Classification of parenting style
What is needed first is an understanding of the differentiation between different kinds of nurturing. According to (Baumrind, 1968), there are three main styles of parenting (Chang, 2006). Authoritarian parenting is demanding but not responsive. These parents are strict, inflexible, and high controlling. It is believed that Vietnamese parenting style is an authoritarian one.

On the contrary, permissive parents are indulgent. They often have lax discipline and do not want to impose their desire on their child’s developing personality. American parents are believed to be this type of parenting.

Between these two extremes is authoritative parenting. Rather than dictate to their child, authoritative parents listen to their child’s point of view and make suggestions and provide direction.

It can be seen that Vietnamese parenting style is greatly opposite to American one. The two most important differences that make this practice poles apart are education and relationships.

Education
When it comes to education, American parents tend to be more indulgent than Vietnamese counterparts. They do not put pressure on their kids to achieve high academic performance. Therefore, there is no physical punishment when a child gets low scores. These parents often give their children space, opportunities to explore and learn anything they love and want to do. For example, a child can join art, music or sports classes which are considered to improve his or her mind or skills rather than joining academic classes to expand basic knowledge and increase grades at school. Especially, when getting into college, children can get a part-time job or do anything to pay their own tuition fee, to be financially independent of their parents (Datesman et al, 2005).

Conversely, Vietnamese parents often set high expectations for their children’ academic success, put much pressure on their kids’ schoolwork, and force them to learn something even when they do not like that. Nam (2013) argues that harsh discipline, including physical punishment, is the standard in caring for Vietnamese children. Especially, this punishment is usually applied when children get low scores.

Apart from education, relationships is also a key factor that leads to differences in parenting styles between American and Vietnamese parents.

Relationships
In the United States, parents do not get involved in their child’s relationships no matter how old they are. American parents often emphasize their child’s ability to gain independence and self-expression ever since their childhood (Joanna, 2014). As an example, parents often let their kids freely make friends and date while they are studying at high school or even secondary school. In the parents-children relationship, American parents are very warm and approachable. They consider their kids as close friends and let them speak their mind, tell parents what they like and dislike, and share any troubles with their parents.

On the contrary, Vietnamese parents often interfere with their children’ relationship even when they grow up. A child is not allowed to have boyfriend or girlfriend until he or she graduates from college. Besides, children rarely confide their troubles or secrets to their parents because they are taught to respect for elders (VOV VN, 2017).
The differences, above, are the two most prominent ones between American parenting style and Vietnamese counterparts. This might be explained that it is cultural factors, beliefs, and values that affect these two dissimilar nurturing. The two most emerging American values that make their parenting style separate from Vietnamese one is individual freedom and self-improvement.

Individual freedom and self-reliance
Americans have very strong values of individual independence that pass through not only their actions and choices but also their way of talking. Meanwhile, Vietnamese supports collectivism. According to Suyawen (2015), American people grow up believing that they are entitled to have things in their way and learn to control their surroundings to get what they want. In terms of parenting, it is generally considered good to be both warm and sympathetic when raising children. Parents often emphasize on children’s ability to gain independence at an early age. They believe that individual freedom is a basic right and everyone has the same liberation, whether man or woman, adults or children. In other words, they are born to choose. American parents tend to place more emphasis on “the needs and desires of the child rather than on the child’s social and family responsibilities” (Datesman et al, 2005, p.244). Besides, children are also expected to have the right to control his own destiny as a sense of self-determination.

In addition, American community encourages the expression of oneself. On the other hand, Vietnamese believes in interdependence and individual humbleness. According to Wang and Leichtman (2000), American parents are concerned with their child’s ability to build a “sense of self” (Chang, 2006), especially self-reliance. Parents strongly believe that their child must learn to have faith in themselves, otherwise, they will be at risk of losing liberty. Therefore, they let the child solve their own problems, take care of themselves and “stand on their own two feet” (Datesman et al, 2005).

The Protestant heritage: self-improvement
American Protestantism is also a factor that affects parenting style. According to Datesman et al (2005, p.54), “Protestants do not go to priests for the forgiveness of their sins; individuals are left alone before God to improve themselves and ask for God’s guidance, forgiveness, and grace.” For this reason, American parents often give their kids some time alone to reflect what they did wrong, to make their own judgment and learn from their mistakes whenever they behave improperly or do something wrong.

In contrast, Vietnamese parents are heavily influenced by Confucianism. Hunt (2005) supported this idea by stating that a lot of corresponding values such as harmony, duty, honor, and respect to the family were derived from Confucian ideas and were emphasized heavily in childrearing (Tatyana et al 2014). Children are not allowed to make their own decisions on such things as university, relationship or career. It is children’ duty that they have to put family first and remain obedient to parents to requite the self-sacrifice of their parents.

In conclusion, culture has a powerful impact on parenting. The dissimilarities in parenting or child raising express partial category of cultural variations between Vietnamese and American. Main differences are expressed through education and relationship. The explanation of these cultural differences is based on the origin of various values. Among them, values of individual freedom, self-reliance, and collectivism, the Protestant heritage: self-improvement and Confucianism are evaluated as significant causes.

Nevertheless, each type of parenting has its own advantages and disadvantages to children. Therefore, Vietnamese parents and American counterparts should balance style of parenting to control the adolescents while maintaining the right amount of parental guidance. Vietnamese parents should listen to their children’ point of view, let them have more private space when they grow up. To American parents, they should direct their children’ activities in a rational way so that they can improve self-discipline.