It is a common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?
Nowadays, running an own business becomes more interesting and challenging among many young people. These ambitious workers believe that if they started their own business, they would get more benefit and promotion. However, there are risks in starting self-business. In this essay I will outweigh the benefits and drawbacks of self-employment and try to draw some conclusions.
Let's start by looking at the advantages of the own business. Self-employment offers greater freedom and profit than working for a company. That is because some consider that companies do not estimate you work in the right manner, in spite of that you spend all your time and energy in the staff. For instance, if we look at the list of richest people in the world, we will see that almost most of them achieved the success via own business. Therefore, such facts inspire the majority of young people, and that’s why they want to try their luck and get from life more.
Secondly, the internet provides a global marketplace, and there are many opportunities to earn more income than in most companies. Some people find this way more comfortable and less stressful, comparatively to their previous work place. Moreover, many people claim that sometimes it becomes very difficult to work under chief's pressure, whereas in your own business you are chief.
On the other hand, along side with the advantages self-business has some drawbacks. Firstly, there are risks of starting a new business, due to in many cases people face financial difficulties. As a consequence, they fail to make a profit, and they become unemployed. Secondly, the self-employment involved hard work, long hours and totally responsibilities, whereas you have no such burden when you work on employer.
Another disadvantage, this way of employment is less stable. When people work on employer they get health insurance and a good pension. In other words, in self-business there are no benefits like pension, sick pay, holiday pay and getting a premium. This is because many people hold the view that run own affair is less safe.
To conclude, starting own business has both cons and pros. However, there are numerous people who overcame challenges and got a prospering business, at the same time there are many people who gained a perfect career in a company. Personally, I consider if you believe in your skills, knowledge and a unique idea you can run an own business.
- IELTS writing task I 54
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Sentence: Secondly, the self-employment involved hard work, long hours and totally responsibilities, whereas you have no such burden when you work on employer.
Description: The fragment and totally responsibilities is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace totally with adjective
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.5 out of 9
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 400 350
No. of Characters: 1962 1500
No. of Different Words: 213 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.472 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.905 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.735 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 133 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 72 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.391 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.254 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.565 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.304 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.526 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5