Some people think that money may buy happiness although others believe money cannot buy happiness.To what extend do you agree or disagree? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
Some inhabitants are keen to think that money may buy happiness by giving people a certain amount of joy if they have much money. Despite many people view that money cannot buy happiness, no matter how much money you have. I firmly believe that living with amount money or without money will bring happiness in many ways, depend on what happiness is.
As we know, people do hard work daily for finding much money for their life. By having enough amount of money in the bank, people do not worry about their lives. Actually, money will give children a better education by taking them in the best schools. Watch children fulfill by enough education will make people happy because life is a simple thing, make your children happy.
Nevertheless happiness can be created by having good family that people can give the attention each others. Thus, people have more time to accompany their children while there are studying. The harder people work, the more experiences they get indeed. Touching with many people from different culture give them a new perspective on the way to feel of happiness based on sharing their memories. Hard working will give more experience of sharing with other people to feel how happiness is.
As far as I am concerned, money could buy happiness for some people because money leads them buy everything they want. Furthermore, money also sends their children in the best school even they perhaps do not have much time to be together with their children daily. Moment of togetherness with family, even simple just gets dinner every night could bring family in harmony of happiness. Hence, a parent who works hardly to give the best for their family should care about time being together with family.
In my conclusion, I do agree that money is an important thing in happiness but not all happiness can be bought just by amount money. As a result, this condition will bring people to happiness not only depend on how much money they have, but how balance their togetherness with family.
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- Some people think that money may buy happiness although others believe money cannot buy happiness.To what extend do you agree or disagree? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience 65
I firmly believe that living with amount money or without money will bring happiness in many ways, depend on what happiness is.
I firmly believe that living with amount money or without money will bring happiness in many ways, which depend on what happiness is.
Touching with many people from different culture give them
Touching with many people from different culture gives them
but how balance their togetherness with family.
but how to balance their togetherness with family.
Despite many people view that
Description: Don't put a complete sentence after 'Despite'
As a result, this condition will bring people to happiness not only depend on how much money they have, but how balance their togetherness with family.
Description: not only ... but also ... is not used properly
flaws:
Sentence Length SD: 4.525 7.5
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
Read a good grammar book. Maybe this one: http://www.testbig.com/question/grammar
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 345 350
No. of Characters: 1626 1500
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.31 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.713 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.245 2.4
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No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence Length SD: 4.525 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.444 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.382 0.35
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Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.186 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5