TOEFL integrated writing: Altruism.
The article states that Altruism is a type of behaviour in which an animal sacrifices its own interest for that of another animal or group of animals and gain nothing for themselves. However, the professor explains that an animal performing altruistic activity often gain something and hence is not selfless.
First, the reading claims that some unselfish acts among humans range from the sharing of food with strangers to the donation donation of body organs to family members, and even to strangers and yet receive little reward. However, the professor refute the point by saying there are people who feel great about doing these selfless act. He states that when people donate kidney to relatives or strangers, they receive approval and appreciation from the society. They also realize the self worth, which can be very valuable to someone.
Second, the article posits that Meerkat, which is a mammal that dwells in burrows in grassland areas of Africa, often stand guard and look for predators while the others hunt for food or eat what they have obtained. However, the professor says that Meerkats eat before standing as a guard and look for predators. According to the professor, Meerkats often fill their stomach before acting as a guard. Meerkats also have an advantages over others as they see the predators first and hence can run before others.
Third, the reading says that what Meerkats sees a predator such a hawk approaching the group, it gives an alarm cry alerting the other meerkats to run and seek shelter. The professor opposes this point by explaining that Meerkat who is giving alarm is often have more chance of survival. We also learn that when predators listen the alarm, they move away from the Meerkat giving the alarm and hence that Meerkat has greater chances of survival that others.
- Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish. 16
- Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have 50
- Essay topics: Summarise the points made in the lecture,being sure to explain how they cast doubt on specific points made in the reading passage.Altruism is a type of behavior in which an animal sacrifices its own interest for that of another animal or gro 80
- Claim: The best way to understand the character of a society is to examine the character of the men and women that the society chooses as its heroes or its role models.Reason: Heroes and role models reveal a society's highest ideals. 50
- The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition. 58
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 118, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: donation
...e sharing of food with strangers to the donation donation of body organs to family members, and e...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 421, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'an advantage' or simply 'advantages'?
Suggestion: an advantage; advantages
...e acting as a guard. Meerkats also have an advantages over others as they see the predators f...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, hence, however, if, look, second, so, third, well, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 10.4613686534 67% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 5.04856512141 40% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 7.30242825607 192% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 12.0772626932 166% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 22.412803532 116% => OK
Preposition: 30.0 30.3222958057 99% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 5.01324503311 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1519.0 1373.03311258 111% => OK
No of words: 304.0 270.72406181 112% => OK
Chars per words: 4.99671052632 5.08290768461 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.17559525986 4.04702891845 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.35671219392 2.5805825403 91% => OK
Unique words: 169.0 145.348785872 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.555921052632 0.540411800872 103% => OK
syllable_count: 455.4 419.366225166 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.55342163355 97% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 3.25607064018 184% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.23620309051 97% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.25165562914 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 2.5761589404 39% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 13.0662251656 99% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 21.2450331126 108% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.9972986086 49.2860985944 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.846153846 110.228320801 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.3846153846 21.698381199 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.30769230769 7.06452816374 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 4.19205298013 48% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 4.33554083885 208% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 4.45695364238 45% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.27373068433 47% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0116830578711 0.272083759551 4% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.00389516129667 0.0996497079465 4% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.013493234539 0.0662205650399 20% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.00941778704206 0.162205337803 6% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0163120856517 0.0443174109184 37% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 13.3589403974 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 53.8541721854 105% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 11.0289183223 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.02 12.2367328918 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.31 8.42419426049 99% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 63.6247240618 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.7273730684 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.498013245 107% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.2008830022 116% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.