The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College presents the concerning from the college about their dormitories. The statement affirms that is expected a growing in number of enrolments, reaching two times the actual value over the next 50 years. In addition, the average rent for an apartment in the city has risen in recent years. Nevertheless, they are expecting to build new rooms in a way to attract more students to enroll at Buckingham. Although this is a important action performed by the college there are further aspects that need to be evaluated.
In the first place, there is no information about the actual status of the Buckinham’s dormitories. We can expect two realities, one is that all rooms all full and the other is that the dormitories are populated with few students. In the first aspect, an urgent action ought to be made in order to supply the demand of new students, which the building of new room or a new entire building should be expected. Otherwise, if the housing are not fully used, the college might use a different approach and for a short-time it will be not necessary the addition of more rooms, maybe just a renovation or a incentive for the students to use them are already sufficient.
Furthermore, the memo doesn’t shows reliable data concerned about the number of new dormitories expected to be built. If all the space are being actually used and the college knows that the number of students will double over the next 50 years, it is necessary the creation of a plan to build at least the same amount of rooms which exist nowadays. However, in a worst case scenario, there will be necessary even more rooms, due to the increase of the city’s rent price. Where, in that case, students that actually are living in the town will stating moving to the student housing.
Moreover, it is necessary to evaluate if the dormitories are one of the main reason or if it will in fact increase the interest of students in enrolling at Buckingham. A good way to research that if looking from the hometown of the majority of the students. If we have the case that a great number of pupils come from the town and are living with their relatives, the construction of new dormitories will be a waste of money, first because they will be not used by the students and second because they will not be a reason to attract new ones.
In summary, the college need to acquire more specific data about the actual status of theirs dormitories. If it is verified that the construction of a new housing will be really necessary, it will be needed to create a plan and specify the number of new rooms which will be constructed, in the case that the current housing is already full of students, it will be necessary to, at least, double the number of places, without counting the migration of students from the city to the college due to the increase of rent values. In the end, the college also might visualise if the construction of a new house will in fact attract more students otherwise it will be just a waste of space and money.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 548 350
No. of Characters: 2468 1500
No. of Different Words: 204 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.838 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.504 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.517 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 162 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 123 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.842 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.749 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.789 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.336 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.336 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.082 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 466, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Although” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... more students to enroll at Buckingham. Although this is a important action performed by...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 483, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... enroll at Buckingham. Although this is a important action performed by the colle...
^
Line 2, column 604, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... more rooms, maybe just a renovation or a incentive for the students to use them ...
^
Line 3, column 366, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[1]
Message: Use 'the' with the superlative.
Suggestion: the
...rooms which exist nowadays. However, in a worst case scenario, there will be nece...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, first, furthermore, however, if, look, may, moreover, nevertheless, really, second, so, at least, in addition, in fact, in summary, in the first place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 33.0 19.6327345309 168% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.9520958084 162% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 85.0 55.5748502994 153% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2539.0 2260.96107784 112% => OK
No of words: 547.0 441.139720559 124% => OK
Chars per words: 4.64168190128 5.12650576532 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.83611736076 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68448026598 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 204.123752495 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.387568555759 0.468620217663 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 798.3 705.55239521 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.22255489022 237% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 81.2086331942 57.8364921388 140% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.631578947 119.503703932 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.7894736842 23.324526521 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.73684210526 5.70786347227 153% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.258097524193 0.218282227539 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0924590323343 0.0743258471296 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0899770240975 0.0701772020484 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.169920430848 0.128457276422 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0831058740592 0.0628817314937 132% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 14.3799401198 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 48.3550499002 107% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.22 12.5979740519 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.85 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 98.500998004 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.