The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the memo wrote by the student housing director of Buckingham College, the latter advocates that Buckingham College should build new dormitories for its students. The conclusion is flawed by hidden assumptions and not enough cogent evidences to support it and to clearly convince for the need of new space to host prospective students who will enroll in the following years.
Firstly, why Buckingham College should enlarge its dormitories is based on the evidence that Buckingham’s enrollment is growing. This evidence is not specific enough for two main reasons. First, the director of the student housing is referring to the number of students who are enrolling at Buckingham College and not at those who require a room at its dormitories. Therefore, even if the number of students is going to grow over the following years but the latter do not want to live at the Buckingham College, then there is no need to build new ones. Second, there is another point which weaken this evidence. In the memo it is just written that the number of students is going to double in the over the next 50 years, but it is not stated current number of students. In other words, if the current number of students is, for instance, 200, then it is very different if the latter number double compared to a higher number, for example 1000. Therefore, suppose the first number proposed is the actual one and combined this information with the fact that not all of the 200 students will necessary live at the campus, then the need for new building is severely weakened.
Secondly, the student housing director mention the evidence that the average rent for private accommodation in town has risen as a further evidence to argue for the need of new spaces. However, this evidence is not strong enough neither. Indeed, it could be true that the average rent for an apartment off-campus has grown but it is necessary to check two different key points. The first one is by how much the latter value has risen. In fact, suppose it has jumped from 200$ to 210$ per month, the following increase is not likely to completely suppress the demand for private housing and to force students to switch to campus. Additionally, the director should have mentioned whether the average rent for off-campus housing is currently higher compared to the Buckingham College’s one to strongly assert that future students will stay at the campus. However, no such evidence is mentioned in the memo. Hence, there is no need to think that the switch from off-campus to campus is likely to happen if the average rent off-campus is still lower compared to the one paid by those who live at the dormitories. Moreover, the director based its conclusion that the increase in the average rent will bolster the demand for student housing on the assumption that the latter location is the only possible solution that the students have to this increase. This is not necessarily true. Indeed, if the students report that their least option is to live on campus, then this could be that they will find other solution to the increase in the average rent. For instance, share an apartment with other students, or rent a room in a house. Finally, there is clearly no evidence saying that more availability in terms of dormitories is going to make the choice for new students to enroll at Buckingham College more likely. Indeed, if Buckingham College education is of very low level, then more availability in terms of dorms will not have any effect in the number of enrollments.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 604 350
No. of Characters: 2856 1500
No. of Different Words: 214 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.957 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.728 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.517 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 211 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 151 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 103 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.167 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.018 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.792 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.319 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.41 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.071 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1066, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...this information with the fact that not all of the 200 students will necessary live at the...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 472, Rule ID: CURRENCY[1]
Message: The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: '$200'.
Suggestion: $200
...en. In fact, suppose it has jumped from 200$ to 210$ per month, the following increa...
^^^^
Line 5, column 480, Rule ID: CURRENCY[1]
Message: The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: '$210'.
Suggestion: $210
...act, suppose it has jumped from 200$ to 210$ per month, the following increase is no...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, firstly, hence, however, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, still, then, therefore, for example, for instance, in fact, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 33.0 19.6327345309 168% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 80.0 55.5748502994 144% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2932.0 2260.96107784 130% => OK
No of words: 604.0 441.139720559 137% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.85430463576 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.95746018188 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64515655646 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 204.123752495 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.380794701987 0.468620217663 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 909.0 705.55239521 129% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 63.9439316033 57.8364921388 111% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.166666667 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.1666666667 23.324526521 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.5 5.70786347227 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 5.15768463074 58% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.348193132231 0.218282227539 160% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.108664633511 0.0743258471296 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.115359572896 0.0701772020484 164% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.309783426872 0.128457276422 241% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0761326170079 0.0628817314937 121% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.3550499002 113% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.15 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.46 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Minimum four paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.