Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
In today's fast paced world, the definition of success has become very dynamic. Achievements come in various forms. The youth of today most likely have more options and areas to pursue than they sometimes can manage. For instance, a modern-day college student has a plethora of different career paths she can take. This abundance of alternatives, however, also create a little dilemma for a fledgling person. Whether to think for the long haul, plan their lives right up to retirement, or try to go big the moment they get a chance. The prompt recommends the former, and suggests that young people should concern themselves with the long-term, and not going for momentary goals, that might lead to immense but ephemeral prosperity. I mostly disagree with it, and argue that doing so is circumscribing oneself from attaining their full potential, professionally.
First, I believe that the differentiation in the prompt, between 'realistic goals', and 'immediate recognition' is somewhat artificial. A career choice that can bring immediate fame, can also lay the foundation for a perennial, fruitful career. For example, a college student, who's an aspiring filmmaker, might have to choose between straight up making a film, or to enroll in a film class, perhaps take it up as a major. Both will require a significant financial investment, and both the choices will confirm the student's entry into the industry as a filmmaker. However, enrolling in a college course to get to where you want to be is what most would call a 'realistic goal', while foraging into the real world with no experience or education, the opposite. Nevertheless, there is certainly a chance that the project is successful, and the film is well-received, establishing the student as a filmmaker. Paul Thomas Anderson, a well revered filmmaker in world cinema, did exactly that at a very young age. It would be futile to think now about what could have happened, had he continued college.
In looking to build a safer career, the youth may end up taking up a profession that does not align with their core interests at all. This will lead to job dissatisfaction, which in turn, is guaranteed to result into reduced working efficiency, and general discontent in life. For instance, a young student may be advised by her parents, or teachers, to take up a career path, that would bring her long-term success. This, however, may come at the expense of having to give up her original aspirations, which may be wildly different from what she is going to do for the rest of her life, simply because they are thought to only bring fleeting success, which may not even be entirely true. Thus, following your interests may come with the dual of the reward of attaining an immensely satisfying professional life, and the risk of not making it big, but it always allows you to have responsibility of your own decisions, and will surely teach you a thing or two about life.
It can be argued, though, that planning for the long-haul, not taking risks, allows you to lead a life, where you will have greater and more opportunities to express yourself outside your professional bounds, which are the primary motivations to pursue short-term goals earlier in your life anyway. While I agree that this argument has weight, I still believe that engineering a safe career should not come at the expense of letting go of your greater aspirations while you're young, which is precisely the time when you're most likely to succeed. Thus, I hold the position that there are few reasons to hold yourself back from trying to make it big at a time in your life, when you're most likely to actually to do it, and will lead to a greatly prosperous life.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 274, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: who's
...career. For example, a college student, whos an aspiring filmmaker, might have to ch...
^^^^
Line 3, column 511, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
..., and both the choices will confirm the students entry into the industry as a filmmaker....
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 471, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: you're
...ng go of your greater aspirations while youre young, which is precisely the time when...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 517, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: you're
...young, which is precisely the time when youre most likely to succeed. Thus, I hold th...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 678, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: you're
...ake it big at a time in your life, when youre most likely to actually to do it, and w...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, anyway, but, first, however, if, look, may, nevertheless, so, still, thus, well, while, as to, for example, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.5258426966 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 25.0 12.4196629213 201% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 19.0 14.8657303371 128% => OK
Relative clauses : 22.0 11.3162921348 194% => OK
Pronoun: 57.0 33.0505617978 172% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 81.0 58.6224719101 138% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 12.9106741573 108% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3068.0 2235.4752809 137% => OK
No of words: 629.0 442.535393258 142% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.87758346582 5.05705443957 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.00798087137 4.55969084622 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78891942059 2.79657885939 100% => OK
Unique words: 318.0 215.323595506 148% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.505564387917 0.4932671777 102% => OK
syllable_count: 938.7 704.065955056 133% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 6.24550561798 176% => OK
Article: 10.0 4.99550561798 200% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 14.0 1.77640449438 788% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.2370786517 119% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 23.0359550562 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 67.3727066194 60.3974514979 112% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.833333333 118.986275619 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.2083333333 23.4991977007 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.66666666667 5.21951772744 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 10.2758426966 156% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.238500218383 0.243740707755 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0570399162274 0.0831039109588 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0533886739085 0.0758088955206 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.142152531406 0.150359130593 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0385371815149 0.0667264976115 58% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 14.1392134831 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 48.8420337079 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.1743820225 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.32 12.1639044944 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.44 8.38706741573 101% => OK
difficult_words: 140.0 100.480337079 139% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 11.8971910112 59% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.2143820225 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 79.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.