Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.
Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Parents usually experience some challenges with their kids. These challenges can be in different aspect of children's life. one of the challenges children can face is might be studying. In my opinion, offering children money for their high grades is a stunning idea.
First of all, offering money for children for their high marks in school will encourage them to study harder. Most children have no interest to study, thus, offering a reward like money will make them work harder to be able to get it. For example, my niece doesn't like to study, and her mother always complain about her low grades. So, I recommend her to remind her child about the reward that she will get if she study hard and get a high mark. As a result my niece started to work harder because she was wanting a kitchen play set badly and she couldn't afford to buy it. Finally she gets a high grade that enable her to buy what she wished for.
Another reason is that offering money as a reward help children learn that after every hard work there is a reward. As much effort you will give as many things you will carry out early. For example, my friend wanted to buy a car for himself and he didn't have enough money. He used to work in McDonald's, also, he is a part time student. He is having a hard time when it comes to transportation. Thus, his parents offered him some money for each high grade he will obtain in college in order to help him with his problem. So, he starts working hard on his homework and starts to save what his parents promised to give. Until he was able to buy a car.
As a conclusion, promising children some money for every good grade will encourage them to study harder, and will help them to put more effort to get what they wished for.

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Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 124, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: One
... in different aspect of childrens life. one of the challenges children can face is ...
^^^
Line 2, column 257, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...e able to get it. For example, my niece doesnt like to study, and her mother always co...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 414, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'studies'.
Suggestion: studies
...out the reward that she will get if she study hard and get a high mark. As a result m...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 502, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...iece started to work harder because she was wanting a kitchen play set badly and she couldn...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 547, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...anting a kitchen play set badly and she couldnt afford to buy it. Finally she gets a hi...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 573, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Finally,
...badly and she couldnt afford to buy it. Finally she gets a high grade that enable her t...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 248, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
... wanted to buy a car for himself and he didnt have enough money. He used to work in M...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 317, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...sed to work in McDonalds, also, he is a part time student. He is having a hard time when ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 617, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Until” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...save what his parents promised to give. Until he was able to buy a car. As a conclus...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, if, so, thus, for example, as a result, first of all, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 48.0 43.0788530466 111% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 52.1666666667 73% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1416.0 1977.66487455 72% => OK
No of words: 324.0 407.700716846 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.37037037037 4.8611393121 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.24264068712 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.19278340011 2.67179642975 82% => OK
Unique words: 159.0 212.727598566 75% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.490740740741 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 436.5 618.680645161 71% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.9350910369 48.9658058833 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 74.5263157895 100.406767564 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.0526315789 20.6045352989 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.68421052632 5.45110844103 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.5376344086 163% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.273366696185 0.236089414692 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0882327348796 0.076458572812 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0852605325194 0.0737576698707 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.170348602423 0.150856017488 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0200446627609 0.0645574589148 31% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.7 11.7677419355 65% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 79.6 58.1214874552 137% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.4 10.1575268817 63% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.77 10.9000537634 71% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.92 8.01818996416 86% => OK
difficult_words: 50.0 86.8835125448 58% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 10.002688172 60% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.