The following appeared in an e-mail sent by the marketing director of the Classical Shakespeare Theatre of Bardville.
"Over the past ten years, there has been a 20 percent decline in the size of the average audience at Classical Shakespeare Theatre productions. In spite of increased advertising, we are attracting fewer and fewer people to our shows, causing our profits to decrease significantly. We must take action to attract new audience members. The best way to do so is by instituting a 'Shakespeare in the Park' program this summer. Two years ago the nearby Avon Repertory Company started a 'Free Plays in the Park' program, and its profits have increased 10 percent since then. Therefore, I recommend that we start a 'Shakespeare in the Park' program of our own. If we do so, I predict that our profits will also see a significant increase."
The dilemma that how to attract more people to shows and make profit has complicated marketing director of the Classical shakespear Theatre of Bardville. The author of the e-mail recommends that the theater should start a 'shakerspears in the park' program to have significant increase in profit. While innitiating such program might be helpful in enlarging profits, several questions should be answered to decide whether it will reach predicted outcome.
To begin with, the director needs to answer whether 'free plays in the park' program is the main imputes that drove up the profits in avon repertory company two years ago. if it is this program that publicizes this company and thus attracts more audiences, then it might be grounded to mimic similar program in shakerspeare theater. On the other hand, when the major factosr leading to increase in profit lie in others aspects, then simply starting a new program is meaningless. For example, if people found their plays interesting and educational, then many would pay for it, thereby increasing the profits. it is also likely that avon repertory company offer reasonable prices or discount to audiences, and so affordable to the masses. Larger quantity will compesate the relatively little cost. In this case, lowering down the tick price to shakespear play could be a wiser solution. In addition, the author should also suggest whether condition today is comparable to that two years ago. if economy in the socity has been in recession this year but was prosper two years ago, then business circumstance should be blamed for low profit.
Moreover, another question needs to be answered is whether 'shakespeare in the park' program will persistently attract more audiences. starting such a program might be beneficial when low attendence is resulted from ignorance of people. when people are provided with opportunity to touch with, get familiar with or even become interest in the play, then it is promising that more audiences will be attracted to the theater. Nevertheless, there is no guarantee that more audiences will attend the show in the theater. As mentioned above, if the price of ticket to shakerspeare play is not affordable to many people, even though many of them are curious about the show, they cannot afford to attend. Furthermore, some people, after trying free activity found themselves no interest in the play, would definitely not attend the play in the theater. Therefore, such an institution might not be the best appraoch to attract audiences. there might be other even better ways, such as improving theater equipment and audiences or making the play more captivating.
Last but not least, the author unfairly suggests that starting the program in summer would enhance the profit. To better evaluate the argument, the author should also mention the relevant cost. In all likelihood, when organizing such an activities cost a lot, including rents, labor cost and so forth, but the increased revenue is much lower, it might not be worthwhile to follow what avon repertory company did. Unless revenue will largely outweigh costs, we should be cautious about our decison. Additionally, we should also be offered about the detailed information about this show. whether it is suitable to perform outside? whether it would achieve desirable effect similar to the play in the theater? whether there is enough population in the park during the program. Due to uncertainties involved in such program, the recommendation might not be justified.
To sum up, as it stands, the recommendation by marketing director is replied on mutiple unanswered questions. To fully evaluate whether such suggestion would have the predicted result, the author should provide the evidences as follows: first, whether free program is the major spur to improving profits in avon repertory Compan; second, whether 'shakespeare in the park' can successfully draw potential audiences' attentions; finally, whether it will gain more profit when doing so.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 641 350
No. of Characters: 3274 1500
No. of Different Words: 288 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.032 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.108 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.68 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 256 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 197 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 123 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 85 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.136 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.952 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.303 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.501 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.097 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 171, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...n avon repertory company two years ago. if it is this program that publicizes this...
^^
Line 3, column 608, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...for it, thereby increasing the profits. it is also likely that avon repertory comp...
^^
Line 3, column 990, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...ay is comparable to that two years ago. if economy in the socity has been in reces...
^^
Line 3, column 1055, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'prospered'.
Suggestion: prospered
...has been in recession this year but was prosper two years ago, then business circumstan...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 134, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Starting
...ll persistently attract more audiences. starting such a program might be beneficial when...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 236, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
...e is resulted from ignorance of people. when people are provided with opportunity to...
^^^^
Line 5, column 356, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...en become interest in the play, then it is promising that more audiences will be attracted t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 929, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: There
...the best appraoch to attract audiences. there might be other even better ways, such a...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 587, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Whether
...e detailed information about this show. whether it is suitable to perform outside? whet...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 630, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Whether
...ther it is suitable to perform outside? whether it would achieve desirable effect simil...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 708, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Whether
...ect similar to the play in the theater? whether there is enough population in the park ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 708, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ect similar to the play in the theater? whether there is enough population in the park ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 708, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “whether” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ect similar to the play in the theater? whether there is enough population in the park ...
^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 482, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...it will gain more profit when doing so.
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, furthermore, if, moreover, nevertheless, second, so, then, therefore, thus, while, for example, in addition, such as, to begin with, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 33.0 19.6327345309 168% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 30.0 12.9520958084 232% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 76.0 55.5748502994 137% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3368.0 2260.96107784 149% => OK
No of words: 641.0 441.139720559 145% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.25429017161 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.0316973083 4.56307096286 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75496949479 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 304.0 204.123752495 149% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.474258970359 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 1024.2 705.55239521 145% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 13.0 2.70958083832 480% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 31.0 19.7664670659 157% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.8349272781 57.8364921388 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.64516129 119.503703932 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.6774193548 23.324526521 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.06451612903 5.70786347227 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 5.25449101796 266% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 8.20758483034 207% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0669288282203 0.218282227539 31% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0207257604282 0.0743258471296 28% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0462001279329 0.0701772020484 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0529239681464 0.128457276422 41% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0441955301452 0.0628817314937 70% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 14.3799401198 95% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.17 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.59 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 161.0 98.500998004 163% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.