Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.
Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
The debate on whether rewarding children for their school achievements is a good or bad idea has garnered a range of views. Nowadays, many are adamant that a myriad of elements should be taken into consideration to check the constructive and destructive facets of this issue. Some people posit that give child present every time he/ she gets high mark in school is a crucial tool in the education process and has many positive impacts. On the other hand, others take the opposite side and disagree. From my vantage point, I agree with a former group and aver that rewarding students for every progress in their school education plays a pivotal role in the development of their academic field. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following paragraphs.
The first exquisite point to be considered is that by doing this action - offering child money or present for high marks - will encourage a child to increase his/ her efforts. Although some people believe that children should learn that the progress they achieve in school is crucial for their future, giving money or presents will motivate them to do their best in their studies. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. In the sixth grade, I acquired high marks in math and science subjects. Fortunately, my mother gave me a present to praise my efforts in the exams. Consequently, this present encouraged me to do my best in the following classes and was the best motivation tool during my time in middle school.
Secondly, another reason which deserves some words to say is that rewarding children may increase the competitive sense in them and enhance their personalities. A study from Colombia University has revealed that the child who received presents from their parents for their school achievements has shown a high level of self-esteem and confidence. A vivid example that can shed light on this subject is one from my brother's experience. In a secondary school, my brother was lacking self-esteem, however, his teacher told my parents that my brother needs motivation and the best type of encouragement he can get is offering him money or present.
To wrap it up, contemplating all aforesaid reasons, one can soon realize the importance of rewarding children every time they achieve excellent marks in the school.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion:
...ng example of this. In the sixth grade, I acquired high marks in math and scienc...
^^
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Suggestion:
...e my efforts in the exams. Consequently, this present encouraged me to do my best...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...n get is offering him money or present. To wrap it up, contemplating all aforesa...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, however, may, second, secondly, so, i feel, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 43.0788530466 123% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 44.0 52.1666666667 84% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1943.0 1977.66487455 98% => OK
No of words: 389.0 407.700716846 95% => OK
Chars per words: 4.99485861183 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44106776838 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75221287843 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 206.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.529562982005 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 594.0 618.680645161 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.1778228354 48.9658058833 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.294117647 100.406767564 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.8823529412 20.6045352989 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.82352941176 5.45110844103 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.315697283158 0.236089414692 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0984752118343 0.076458572812 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0607005800659 0.0737576698707 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.189496855444 0.150856017488 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0473708947627 0.0645574589148 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 11.7677419355 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.96 10.9000537634 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.22 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 86.8835125448 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.