The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or any other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation not competition.
In an information overloaded modern era, everywhere is filled with all sorts of peer pressure and comparison. From the clothes we wear to the job we have, from the sports team we join to the class we attend, people have become increasingly frequent to compare our lives with other so-called 'perfect examples', those gifted talents who are better than us in one way or another. Under such a background, one can hardly avoid competition to flourish as a leader. However, the prompt suggests the youth should be imbued with cooperation spirits, rather than competition spirits, to outstand as a successful leader in all industries. I tend to disagree with the prompt, arguing cultivating a competitive mindset is at least of equal significance to nurturing a cooperative mindset. The following lists two reasons to support my argument.
Firstly, leaders need a sense of aggressiveness in order to motivate other team members for achievements. If a leader does not have a competitive mind, how could he or she engage fully to lead the whole team for achieving goals? A hypothetical team leader can be really collaborative but failed to lead the team to success due to a lack of invigorating spirit and the ambition to strive for No.1. The leader may care for other people's feelings too much in a sense that he or she forgets what the priorities for a team are. From this hypothetical example, we can conclude that a competitive spirit is a must for a great leader.
Secondly, people intrinsically face greater challenges when facing competition, comparing to being in a collaborative context. Research has shown babies and toddlers without any special guidance naturally exhibit bebaviors that promote cooperation. This is because learning through day-to-day observation and imitation, most of young people can learn the precious value of cooperation. On the other hand, compete positively with other people is an ability that should be taught. For instance, a politician in campaigns inevitably faces great stress and denigrations before inauguration. He or she needs to have the grit and perseverance to mitigate the negative feelings in such fierce competitions while focusing all the time and efforts to the most important fields. Therefore, isn’t the ability to compete worth to be taught to the future elites?
We are in a world where both competition and cooperation are prevalent. Cooperation makes united teams while competition makes teams stronger. Future leaders should be cultivated with both mindsets since childhood, for a brighter and a more beautiful future.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 173, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'engages'.
Suggestion: engages
...a competitive mind, how could he or she engage fully to lead the whole team for achiev...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, however, if, may, really, second, secondly, so, therefore, while, at least, for instance, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.5258426966 77% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.4196629213 89% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 14.8657303371 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.3162921348 62% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 33.0505617978 70% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 58.6224719101 90% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 12.9106741573 155% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2169.0 2235.4752809 97% => OK
No of words: 415.0 442.535393258 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.2265060241 5.05705443957 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51348521516 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.03734915863 2.79657885939 109% => OK
Unique words: 240.0 215.323595506 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.578313253012 0.4932671777 117% => OK
syllable_count: 681.3 704.065955056 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.38483146067 160% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.2370786517 99% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.3746578938 60.3974514979 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.45 118.986275619 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.75 23.4991977007 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.4 5.21951772744 123% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 10.2758426966 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.20554282211 0.243740707755 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.05935084835 0.0831039109588 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0423997785853 0.0758088955206 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.122786496671 0.150359130593 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.041340939753 0.0667264976115 62% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 14.1392134831 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.8420337079 105% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.1743820225 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.05 12.1639044944 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.93 8.38706741573 106% => OK
difficult_words: 113.0 100.480337079 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 11.8971910112 122% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.7820224719 119% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.