The following is a memorandum from the director of personnel to the president of Get-Away
Airlines.
"Since our mechanics are responsible for inspecting and maintaining our aircraft, Get-Away
Airlines should pay to send them to the Quality-Care Seminar, a two-week seminar on proper
maintenance procedures. I recommend this seminar because it is likely to be a wise
investment, given that the automobile racing industry recently reported that the performance of
its maintenance crews improved markedly after their crews had attended the seminar. These
maintenance crews perform many of the same functions as do our mechanics, including
refueling and repairing engines. The money we spend on sending our staff to the seminar will
inevitably lead to improved maintenance and thus to greater customer satisfaction along with
greater profits for our airline."
The author of the argument, the director of personnel to the president of Get-Away Airlines, argues that they should provide their mechanics, who are responsible for the inspection and maintenance of their aircrafts to be sent to a Quality-care seminar. The author cites that g the seminar focuses on proper maintainenance procedures and that the author is conivnced that by doing so the money that will be invested in this venture will ensure better maintenance in future and thus greater customer satisfaction, finally healthier profits. The author justifies the efficacy of the seminar by citing the reports from the automobile racing industry, whose mechanics are purported to have had great benefits. The author's arguments seems to be based on some unwarranted claims that needs further information and clarification to make a cogent argument. The unwarranted assumptions are discussed in the followinf paragraphs.
Firstly, the author relies heavily on the reports of the automobile racing industry. Perhaps the report provided by the automobile racing industry are exaggerated to show their industry in a better light. It is also possible that not all, might be a significant number of the corporation that belong to the automobile industry didnot invest in the seminar. This would result in a report that will have very few proponents of the seminar. It would be risky to rely on a report that has been ratified by a small fraction of the whole industry. Thus the author must assess and justify the success of this two week seminar program in the automobile industry before relying with such confidence on it.
Secondly, The author fails to mention or consider the work experience the mechanics of the automobile racing industry had in comparison to the mechanics of Get-Away Airlines. The relevance lies in the fact that more work experience or a significant amount of it might be required or a prerequisite for the seminar. Perhaps the mechanics of Get-Away Airlines donot have enough work experience, this would make the seminar much less effective and beneficial for them when compared to their peers in the automobile racing industry. Thus, the author must focus on surveys that would help in providing a simulacrum of the efficiency of the course based on the work experience a mechanic has.
Thirdly, the author fails to quantify that by how many of the procedures that are performed by automobile racing mechanics are germane and similar to the mechanics working for an aviation company. Perhaps, the procedures are similar but have minute details that are associated with it that are unique to the industries in which they are performed. Thus it might not be appropriate to consider the two procedures as similar, as their minute details when taken into account might have tremendous significance. It is possible that though it seems many procedures are similar to each other for the two industries but aviation industries have far more number of procedures that are not covered by the seminar. Thus the author must quantify the number of procedures that are similar and appropos.
Lastly, the number of procedure that the mechanics will receive training for in the seminar might not be enough considering that they belong to the aviation industry. Perhaps, few number of procedures are discussed and trainings for them are provided in a short interval of time like two weeks. For Mechanics belonging to aviation it might not be enough and thus the seminar might not be a good investment by the company.
In sum, the unwarranted assumptions discussed in the above paragraphs, weaken the argument. The author must consider the above reasonings and provide relevant information to the reader to make a cogent argument.
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Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 541, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...atisfaction, finally healthier profits. The author justifies the efficacy of the se...
^^^
Line 1, column 707, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...e purported to have had great benefits. The authors arguments seems to be based on ...
^^^
Line 1, column 850, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...larification to make a cogent argument. The unwarranted assumptions are discussed i...
^^^
Line 2, column 542, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...a small fraction of the whole industry. Thus the author must assess and justify the ...
^^^^
Line 4, column 348, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...industries in which they are performed. Thus it might not be appropriate to consider...
^^^^
Line 4, column 705, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...es that are not covered by the seminar. Thus the author must quantify the number of ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 176, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun number seems to be countable; consider using: 'few numbers'.
Suggestion: few numbers
...long to the aviation industry. Perhaps, few number of procedures are discussed and trainin...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, if, lastly, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, thus
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 26.0 13.6137724551 191% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 28.8173652695 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 83.0 55.5748502994 149% => OK
Nominalization: 27.0 16.3942115768 165% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3130.0 2260.96107784 138% => OK
No of words: 609.0 441.139720559 138% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.13957307061 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.96768813016 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84745256669 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 204.123752495 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.384236453202 0.468620217663 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1010.7 705.55239521 143% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 15.0 8.76447105788 171% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.74451082 57.8364921388 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.2 119.503703932 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.36 23.324526521 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.6 5.70786347227 63% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.162615190132 0.218282227539 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0480890773019 0.0743258471296 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0702820480927 0.0701772020484 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0848932743899 0.128457276422 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0661108501895 0.0628817314937 105% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 48.3550499002 80% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.83 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.12 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 127.0 98.500998004 129% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 12.3882235529 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 541, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...atisfaction, finally healthier profits. The author justifies the efficacy of the se...
^^^
Line 1, column 707, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...e purported to have had great benefits. The authors arguments seems to be based on ...
^^^
Line 1, column 850, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...larification to make a cogent argument. The unwarranted assumptions are discussed i...
^^^
Line 2, column 542, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...a small fraction of the whole industry. Thus the author must assess and justify the ...
^^^^
Line 4, column 348, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...industries in which they are performed. Thus it might not be appropriate to consider...
^^^^
Line 4, column 705, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...es that are not covered by the seminar. Thus the author must quantify the number of ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 176, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun number seems to be countable; consider using: 'few numbers'.
Suggestion: few numbers
...long to the aviation industry. Perhaps, few number of procedures are discussed and trainin...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, if, lastly, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, thus
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 26.0 13.6137724551 191% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 28.8173652695 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 83.0 55.5748502994 149% => OK
Nominalization: 27.0 16.3942115768 165% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3130.0 2260.96107784 138% => OK
No of words: 609.0 441.139720559 138% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.13957307061 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.96768813016 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84745256669 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 204.123752495 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.384236453202 0.468620217663 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1010.7 705.55239521 143% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 15.0 8.76447105788 171% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.74451082 57.8364921388 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.2 119.503703932 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.36 23.324526521 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.6 5.70786347227 63% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.162615190132 0.218282227539 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0480890773019 0.0743258471296 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0702820480927 0.0701772020484 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0848932743899 0.128457276422 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0661108501895 0.0628817314937 105% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 48.3550499002 80% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.83 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.12 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 127.0 98.500998004 129% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 12.3882235529 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.