Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
People possess different opinions about whether the youth should make their own decisions. Some people state that the youth lack of experience to decide, while other people contend that young people should be responsible for decision making. In my perspective, I disagree with the statement that young people should make decisions of their own in modern society based on the following reasons.
First of all, the ability of independent thinking is not well developed during young age, which may cause the youth to make decisions without thinking clearly enough. For example, I had to choose my major when I was in high school. To be more specific, our school provided three categories of fundamental courses based on the student's future career plans. Facing my first major decision, I simply copied the decision of my friend because I wanted to gather together with them. However, my parents stopped me and they helped me to analyze my future potential. Without them, I could not find my interest and became an engineer later on.
Second, the development of the internet makes our society full of information, it is prone to happen for young people to be influenced by unreliable data sources. For instance, my cousin dreams to be a model in the future. To pursue her dream, she is eager to find some related jobs during her summer vacation. A mysterious company sent her an invitation for a job interview from social media on the internet. Although she wanted to grab this opportunity, she discussed with her parents before making decisions. In the end, they found out that it was an illegal organization which committed to kidnap young people.
To sum up, as mentioned, young people are not able to think independently and they can not distinguish the information in this modern society. They may make decisions that are influenced by their surroundings or they may be cheated by the criminals. That is the reason why I strongly disagree that young people are better to make their decisions without parent's advice.
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2023-05-10 | hesami | 73 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 614, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... which committed to kidnap young people. To sum up, as mentioned, young people ar...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, second, so, well, while, for example, for instance, first of all, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 13.8261648746 29% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 43.0788530466 111% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 52.1666666667 98% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1684.0 1977.66487455 85% => OK
No of words: 338.0 407.700716846 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.98224852071 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28774723029 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67000319377 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 212.727598566 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.547337278107 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 518.4 618.680645161 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.6804001946 48.9658058833 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.0588235294 100.406767564 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.8823529412 20.6045352989 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.88235294118 5.45110844103 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.353633260474 0.236089414692 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.11630070103 0.076458572812 152% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.122471319012 0.0737576698707 166% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.234011430697 0.150856017488 155% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.128279363407 0.0645574589148 199% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 11.7677419355 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.6 10.9000537634 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.55 8.01818996416 107% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 86.8835125448 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.