In some countries the average weight people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.
what do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Today, selling of slim medicine is increasing. This shows that the number of fat people is rising. By seeing this fact, we know that their health is also getting worse. This is because, today, fat causes many diseases-cholesterol and heart attack. Maybe, fewer exercise and high stress can be the main factors of this problem. The most important thing is the solution has to be found to overcome this problem.
Based on the causes of health decreasing above-less exercise and big stress, people have to spend their time everyday about 15 minute to take some exercises. Because, exercise can make the blood flows freely and cracks the fat in our body. Reducing stress is also essential. Even though we live in industrial era that is full of deadline, sometimes as workers, we have to entertain ourselves, in once a week. Joy of life is more important than earning money, because the purpose of getting money is to make our life happy.
In Indonesia, for example, many employees do exercise and entertain themselves in a simple way. For instance, after work, usually they do futsal-football, with their colleague from the same department to refresh their body. From this activity, people can be healthy and fun in the same time. Many companies that have a gathering sport programs in Indonesia, proves that the health quality of their employees is increasing.
For the last, doing exercise is never work successfully if persons stand with bad habit in eating fat food. Avoiding junk food and fat food are so effective to reduce the fat in our body. Fat burning system in our body has limited capacity, so the system will be error if we add much fat every day. Adding vegetables and fruit in our menu is very suggested to every single person that want to be healthy.
Overall, I strongly recommend three solutions above-exercise, entertainment, and reducing fat food, because the solutions have been proven work in Indonesia. But, the solutions are never work if we do those in unbalance portion.
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The most important thing is the solution has to be found to overcome this problem
The most important thing is that the solution has to be found to overcome this problem
Many companies that have a gathering sport programs in Indonesia, proves that
Many companies that have a gathering sport programs in Indonesia, prove that
For the last, doing exercise is never work successfully
For the last, doing exercise never works successfully
the solutions are never work if we do those in unbalance portion.
the solutions will never work if we do those in unbalance portion.
flaws:
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Avg. Sentence Length: 16.095 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.3 7.5
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
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No. of Words: 338 350
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Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.288 4.7
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence Length SD: 5.3 7.5
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Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.095 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5