At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.
In my personal opinion, sports and social activities are equally important as academic courses. Sports help a student keep in good shape, this make him have a healthy body. A healthy body give a student the ability to concentrate on his work. Social activities help a student build up relationships with others, this make him have a healthy mind. A healthy mind give a student the ability to look on the bright side of things, so he can always stay positive.
However, some people think that instead of putting money into these activities, it's better to invest in academic courses, so students can notice the importance of those courses, and thus trying to study harder and put more effort on it. If students focus more on their subjects, they can get more from them. As a consequence, they can become the professionals on particular fields, and help the world become a better place.
Nevertheless, I think nobody can do great things without a healthy body. If students keep study all the time without any exercise, they may get tired easily. Even worse, they may get sick. This may distract them form school work. In addition, if students keep sitting on the chair without having any contact with others, this may lead to unhealthy minds, and end up doing harm to themselves, or even worse, to society.
Moreover, lacking of exercising and social connecting may become part of the hobby for students later in their lives. Imagine a person work around the clock. He tries so hard hoping that he can success in his career. No matter how hard he try, because of the poor condition of his body, he can't concentrate on his work, thus having a bad performance on his job. Because he can't achieve the expectation of his employer, he feel very frustrated and stressful. He is going through a lot of pressure, but there is no one he can find to give him a helping hand. Because of lacking of social skills, he doesn't have much connections with others. As a consequence, this person is in a very bad situation, he has not only an unhealthy body, but also an unhealthy mind. This may cause severe problems to the society.
On the other hand, if a person is healthy, he can not only do a really good job in his field, but also have positive influence on other people. He can easily build up relationships with others. When he needs help, there is always a person that is ready for him. Making our environment much warm and positive place to live. As a result, I think sports and social activities are equally important as academic courses.
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this make him
this makes him
A healthy body give
A healthy body gives
this make him have a healthy mind. A healthy mind give a student
this makes him have a healthy mind. A healthy mind gives a student
Imagine a person work around the clock
Imagine a person works around the clock
hoping that he can success in his career
hoping that he can succeed in his career
how hard he try
how hard he tries
he feel very frustrated
he feels very frustrated
he has not only an unhealthy body, but also an unhealthy mind
he can not only do a really good job in his field, but also have positive influence on other people
Description: Not only...but also is not used properly.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 450 350
No. of Characters: 2020 1500
No. of Different Words: 210 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.606 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.489 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.456 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 141 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 90 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.16 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.593 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.294 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.498 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.219 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5