Many countries spend large amounts of money on world sporting events such as the Olympic Games and football World Cup Instead these monies can be spent on encouraging young children to take up sports at a young age Do you agree or disagree with this state

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Many countries spend large amounts of money on world sporting events such as the Olympic Games and football World Cup. Instead these monies can be spent on encouraging young children to take up sports at a young age. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Large amount required to spend for Olympic Games and foot ball world cup. Some support while others think that huge amount should be spent on young children to train them as sportsperson. In this essay, I strongly agree to the statement, huge amount should be spent to motivate and to shape young sports athletes.

Countries should spend enormous money for special training for the children who as eager to learn. Motivate youngsters by providing scholarships who are winning in the local competitions. They should provide well equipped facilities and amenities for sportsperson. Moreover, they have to form a successful team which contains trained coach, energetic athletes and medical practitioner. It strengthens patriotism among youngsters to serve for the country and make the country proud by winning world record.

On the other hand, organizing sports competition will economically profit for the countries. They try to show to best way to attract investors and business. It will attract many tourist to their country and it result in more foreign currency transaction. Moreover, local industry like tourism, hotels, restaurants and so forth benefited by the visitors. It increases commercial and residential development; common that people return as residents; there by demand for housing and other services. Heighten local awareness, interest resulting in a great sense of pride and ownership. It improves local community’s visits a change to experience other cultures which broadens understanding.

In a nutshell, though spending money on conducting sports event will earn great revenue but investing monies for youngsters will improve sports in the country. More athletes would be motivated and win for their country and which improves status around the world and give pride and proud to their nation.

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2013-01-24 devabe2005 67 view
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Comments

Sentence: It will attract many tourist to their country and it result in more foreign currency transaction.
Description: The fragment it result in is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace result with verb, past tense

flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.471 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.421 7.5
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.052 0.07

'On the other hand' means However. It doesn't mean 'On another hand'.

Since you support 'spent on encouraging young children', it is better to exchange the paragraph 2 and paragraph 3.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 280 350
No. of Characters: 1501 1500
No. of Different Words: 171 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.091 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.361 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.715 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 115 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.471 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.421 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.353 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.284 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.495 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.052 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5