The following is a memo from the marketing director of Lamfonz Pet Stores, which operates thirty pet stores worldwide.
“Five years ago, our competitor Fish Emporium started advertising in Exotic Pets Monthly magazine. Their sales overall have seen a steady increase of 3-to-5 percent per year since then. In fact, the Fish Emporium store in Gulf City saw even more remarkable gains, becoming the most visited pet store in the United States last year. Meanwhile, our two Lamfonz stores in Gulf City have seen sales steadily decline during the same period. It seems clear that we should immediately begin placing our own ads in Exotic Pets Monthly and other popular pet magazines. If we do so, we will be sure to reverse this recent trend of declining sales and start making a profit again.”
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
Having a pet helps one combat loneliness. The marketing director of Lamfonz Pet Stores despite having 30 pet outlets worldwide is lagging behind its competitor, Fish Emporium, in terms of sales. Thus, following its competitors' footsteps, the managing director proposes placing their ads in Exotic Pets Magazine and other popular magazines assuming that this strategy will turn them into profit. This assumption is unwarranted as he is too quick to assume that his side can make a similar impact. It doesn’t give us a complete idea of what measures the Fish Emporium applied. As a result, the conclusion is dubious.
The first assumption was that the store could duplicate the Fish Emporium result. However, he has never conducted detailed research on the measures, Fish Emporium took to gain a 3-4% increase in sales over the year. Fish Emporium, Along-with placing an ad in Exotic Pet Magazine, might have also placed a television ad with renowned models posing with their pets. Perhaps, they might have changed the prices of the pets as a lower price will always attract more attention. The managing director of Lamfonz Pet stores lacks the study of these kinds of inner details.
The second assumption was that the quality of the service they provide will remain constant and equivalent to that of Fish Emporium. The MD should have had definite knowledge on how are the pre-sale and post-sale customer services of both stores. For example, it would be helpful for the Lamfonz Pet Stores to lure in some customers by providing them with free vaccinations and treatment for a limited period. Meanwhile, customer interaction and a calm environment are something that the MD must take care of in its store. A store with noise is not preferred by any.
The cost of placing an ad in popular pet magazines is also a topic of concern. Popular magazines like Exotic pet magazine is sure to cost a considerable amount and as stated, the store is facing a decline in sales, Thus, the cost incurred will also play a major role in deciding whether the proposal for the ad is a legit idea at the moment for Lamfonz.
Many specifics are still to be discussed with the board members of the store. MD must not reside on the ad in Exotic pet magazine alone to reverse the trend of declining sales and start making a profit. Instead, he must look on to other alternatives too to make their store recognized all over the world. HE must gather more details to play with before diving to the conclusion that they must place an ad.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 435 350
No. of Characters: 2034 1500
No. of Different Words: 227 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.567 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.676 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.485 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.773 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.984 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.278 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.278 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.121 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 134, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...nd equivalent to that of Fish Emporium. The MD should have had definite knowledge o...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, look, second, so, still, thus, while, for example, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2086.0 2260.96107784 92% => OK
No of words: 434.0 441.139720559 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.8064516129 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56428161445 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56511538578 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 204.123752495 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.520737327189 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 664.2 705.55239521 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 52.4056807217 57.8364921388 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.8181818182 119.503703932 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.7272727273 23.324526521 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.70786347227 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.349809602334 0.218282227539 160% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.101908637643 0.0743258471296 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0815129361017 0.0701772020484 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.201087145271 0.128457276422 157% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.079128165386 0.0628817314937 126% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.1 14.3799401198 77% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.62 12.5979740519 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.65 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 112.0 98.500998004 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.