9. People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
It has been a long-term debate in the humanity area whether humanbeings’ behavior is decided by their personal willingness or outside forces. Some may agree that people’s behavior is always controlled only by forces, but I think people can make their own choices.
It is reasonable to say that some movements of people are determined by forces according to the history. During the history, humanbeings would like to take same actions following others because they could only receive the information from single source, like government or church. As a result, outside force would deeply influence people’s thoughts and then use them to fulfill its purpose. For example, Nazi Germany used its media, education, and industry system together to unite their people and force them to invade other countries, which lead to the Second World War. At that time, only a few people took their own actions against such behaviors, which shows that people’s behavior is mostly controlled by outside forces.
However, as the time flies, the development of the media and Internet brings people more options of the information, which helps people to make their own decisions. During the long period of history, people were accessible to single source from local system. But the Internet makes it possible for people to read and learn others work around the world. Even if such information is influenced by other forces, the multiple choices of information will help people to learn and analyze these thoughts, and finally develop their own thinking. With the help of these methods, people are able to make their own decisions without the influence of outside forces.
The key issue here is how we define ‘determined’. From my point of view, the behavior determined by forces means that people follow the rules and guidance of outside organizations without thinking, or they make some dicisions following single source. The independent choices making is based on independent thinking, and the only way for humanbeings to form independent thinking is to get more information and then take self thinking.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 152, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'agrees'.
Suggestion: agrees
...willingness or outside forces. Some may agree that people’s behavior is always contro...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, however, if, may, second, so, then, for example, i think, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.5258426966 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.4196629213 48% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 14.8657303371 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.3162921348 71% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 26.0 33.0505617978 79% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 58.6224719101 85% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 12.9106741573 77% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1770.0 2235.4752809 79% => OK
No of words: 337.0 442.535393258 76% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.25222551929 5.05705443957 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28457229495 4.55969084622 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71496651073 2.79657885939 97% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 215.323595506 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.537091988131 0.4932671777 109% => OK
syllable_count: 539.1 704.065955056 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 6.24550561798 32% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.77640449438 338% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.38483146067 160% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.2370786517 74% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.6827169087 60.3974514979 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.0 118.986275619 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.4666666667 23.4991977007 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.53333333333 5.21951772744 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.233836514257 0.243740707755 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0882637579062 0.0831039109588 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.050858100008 0.0758088955206 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.147234058926 0.150359130593 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0309948371496 0.0667264976115 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 14.1392134831 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.8420337079 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.47 12.1639044944 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.24 8.38706741573 98% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 100.480337079 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.