GMAT Crash Course in Effective Writing (I)

Once you have mastered the previous lessons and have an overall idea of what you want to say in your essay, you can focus on the best way to express it. This part of the E-Rater Guide will
develop the skills you need to create well-developed and well-written essays.

We have divided the lessons for writing into two parts:

Writing Style: learn to be clear, concise and forceful, and;

Grammar Rules (how to follow accepted grammar rules).

5a. Writing Style

5a(1). Fill Sentences

Streamline your essay by avoiding unnecessary sentences.

*Avoid sentences that do not advance your argument.

*Avoid asking a question only to answer it.

*Avoid sentences that announce that you are shifting the topic. Use transitional phrases instead of writing sentences to change your subject.

FILL: Who should be the next president? I think Mike Dukakis should give it another try.

TO THE POINT: Mike Dukakis should make a second bid for the presidency.

Exercise 1: Avoid "fill" sentences that do not serve a purpose.

Condense the two-sentence groups into one sentence.

1. Who was Abraham Lincoln? He was a President of the United States.
2. Patton was a famous general. He was renowned for his ability to surprise the enemy.
3. The twister destroyed three city blocks. Many buildings collapsed because of the twister.
answers below:

Answers

1. Abraham Lincoln was President of the United States.
2. General Patton was famous for his ability to surprise the enemy.
3. Many buildings were destroyed by the twister that destroyed three city blocks.

5a(2). Be Concise

Do not use several words when one will do. Writers tend to add phrases like "take into consideration" in order to sound scholarly. This only makes the text sound inflated and sophomoric. Don't use excessive and unnecessary verbiage.

WORDY: I am of the opinion that the said managers should be admonished for their utilization of customer response services.

CONCISE: We should tell the managers to improve customer service.

Exercise 2: Wordy Phrases

Shorten the sentence. (see answers)

1. This internet company is not prepared to expand at this point in time.
2. In light of the fact that Roger has worked with much effort and diligence to build this site, it would be a smart move to give him the contract.
3. The airline has a problem with always having arrivals that come at least an hour late, despite the fact that the leaders of the airline promise that promptness is a goal which has a high priority for
all the employees involved.
4. In spite of the fact that she only has a little bit of experience in photography right now, she will probably do well in the future because she has a great deal of motivation to succeed in her chosen profession.
5. The United States is not in a position to spend more money to alleviate the suffering of the
people of other countries considering the problems of its own citizens.
see answers below

Answers

1. The internet company is not prepared to expand now.
2. Since Roger has worked for this site so carefully, we should award him the contract.
3. Flights are always at least an hour late on this airline, though its leaders promise that promptness is a high priority for all its employees.
4. Although she is inexperienced in photography, she will probably succeed because she is motivated.
5. The United States cannot spend more money to alleviate other countries' suffering when its own citizens suffer.
5a(3). Qualification

Writing an AWA essay on the Analysis of Issue is walking a tight rope. You have to be persuasive about your argument, yet you cannot be excessively one-sided. The Analysis of Issue questions do not have a clear-cut "answer" to the essay topic, so do not overstate your case. To express that you are reasonable, sporadically use qualifiers such as fairly, rather, somewhat, relatively, and such

expressions as seems to be, a little, and a certain amount of. However, excessive use of qualification will dilute your argument and weaken the essay.

WORDY: The Hess spy case was rather serious breach of national security and likely helped the Soviets.

CONCISE: The Hess spy case breached national security and helped the Soviets.

1. You yourself are the very best person to decide what you should do for a living.
2. It is possible that the author overstates his case somewhat.
3. The president perhaps should use a certain amount of diplomacy before he resorts to force.
4. In Italy, I found about the best food I have ever eaten.
5. Needless to say, children should be taught to cooperate at home and in school.
Answers:

1. You are the best person to decide what you should do for a living.
2. The author overstates his case somewhat.
3. The president should use diplomacy before he resorts to force.
4. In Italy I found the best food I have ever eaten.
5. Children should be taught to cooperate at home and in school.
(If there's no need to say it, don't!)