Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, says that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, says that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is no doubt, physical exercise has direct impact or our health and sports is one of the desired solution for our physical activities. As we all know good health is the main key to a fruitful life. However, only physical exercise would not be the only solution for our healthy lives.

In contrast with the past, people are more career oriented and spending maximum time on their work. Therefore, people are not having much leisure time to spend on physical exercise. And as a result, most of the human today suffering from diseases like; overweight, high blood pressure etc. Perhaps, sports will be the right solution for our physical and mental peace. But, due to lack of infrastructure many of us not able to engage ourselves in sports. If the facilities are within our reach then we all would have devoted some time for healthy life. The local authorities should maximise the number of sports facilities for societal benefits.

However, only increasing number of sports facilities are not the desired solution. Undoubtedly, maximising sports facilities will help, but not fully. To resolve this global issue, the local authorities need to increase awareness of healthy lifestyle, to every individual. Additionally, the government need to imposed a high tax on alcohol and tobacco, so that people should avoid these products. Nevertheless, the government should implement high road tax in the city, that will help people to avoid private transport and use public transport. Which will make people to walk every day.

In conclusion, maximising the number of sports facilities will help people to improve their health but not fully. As per my opinion, government needs to take both the approach, where sports facilities and awareness both will increase among the people and unhealthy product needs to be restricted from the people.

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2014-05-25 Patrick_G 50 view
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has direct impact or our health
has direct impact on our health

sports is one of the desired solution
sports is one of the desired solutions

most of the human today suffering from diseases
most of the human today are suffering from diseases

many of us not able to engage ourselves
many of us are not able to engage ourselves

only increasing number of sports facilities are not the desired solution
only increasing number of sports facilities is not the desired solution

Sentence: Additionally, the government need to imposed a high tax on alcohol and tobacco, so that people should avoid these products.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and imposed

Sentence: The local authorities should maximise the number of sports facilities for societal benefits.
Error: maximise Suggestion: maximize

Sentence: Undoubtedly, maximising sports facilities will help, but not fully.
Error: maximising Suggestion: maximizing

Sentence: In conclusion, maximising the number of sports facilities will help people to improve their health but not fully.
Error: maximising Suggestion: maximizing

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2

Read a good grammar book.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 300 350
No. of Characters: 1496 1500
No. of Different Words: 159 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.162 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.987 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.551 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 112 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 77 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.647 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.561 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.706 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.511 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.133 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5