Some people think that the family is the most important influence on a child’s success in school. Other people think that friends are the most important influence on a child’s success in school. Which view do you agree with?
People are easily prone to be modeled by the surrounding, through behaving as what they have observed. That says they imitate someone’s conduct near them no matter what the essence is. Especially, children are arduous to distinguish whether the behaviors are positive or not. Hence, whether the child’s accomplishment in school is originated from the family or the friends brings about numerous arguments. In order to vividly illustrate my concept of this controversial debate, there are several contentions provided in the successive paragraphs.
Be frankly, I have to admit that families indeed play an imperative role in child’s achievement in school to some extent. Families supervise not only the child’s courtesy but also their curricular performance. Teachers, especially in Taiwan, do not intensively concentrate on the social manner such as the polite interaction with persons but the scores of exams. By acquainting himself with social skills, the child’s relationship with classmates, teachers, and so on would be ameliorated. Therefore, the child can acquire the interpersonal relationship of success. In addition, the regular administration of performance of curriculum enforced by families can remind the child about the responsibility of studying. By doing so, the grades on tests will gradually increase and thus accomplish the academic success.
On the other hand, friends are alternative force driving the child’s success in school. All the improvements originally stem from interactive competitions among peers. For example, parents, living in Taiwan in particular, are desperate to send their children to the well-established schools because of the academic atmosphere and competitive peers. Although the competition among pupils causes enormous and intangible pressures, this undoubtedly encourages children to meliorate. This interprets why the influence from surrounding friends is outstandingly critical in child’s accomplishment in school.
In summary, it is not completely certain that the family or friends play a most influential part in child’s success in school. Instead, we can be convinced that both contribute to the child’s achievement in school indispensably according to the above propositions.
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Make sure this sentence is correct:
People are easily prone to be modeled by the surrounding, through behaving as what they have observed.
flaws:
Sentence Length SD: 4.402 7.5
"Sentence Length SD is low" means that the essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentences varieties wanted.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 329 350
No. of Characters: 1860 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.259 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.653 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.206 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 155 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 127 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 64 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.316 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.402 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.579 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.299 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.483 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5