The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"A recent national survey found that the majority of workers with access to the Internet at work had used company computers for personal or recreational activities, such as banking or playing games. In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Using electronic monitoring software is the best way to reduce the number of hours Climpson employees spend on personal or recreational activities. We predict that installing software to monitor employees' Internet use will allow us to prevent employees from wasting time, thereby increasing productivity and improving overall profits."
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-04-23 | Bishal Pokharel | 75 | view |
| 2018-08-17 | ribhunirek | 34 | view |
| 2017-07-27 | roncy | view | |
| 2016-08-15 | Dhiroj | 83 | view |
| 2015-02-20 | topazchicka03 | 95 | view |
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Comments
A revised argument 1: As is
A revised argument 1:
As is mentioned, a national survey reflected Internet using in the region where Climpson Industries are located. The author apparently ensures that the nationwide survey can veritably imply people’s favor in a particular area. But it is possible that situation in this place is completely distinguished from other areas. For example, workers here prefer to go to bank or play games on their own instead of using the internet. In this case, answers tend to be not convincing to indicate people’s real preference in Climpson Industries. So more specialized survey in this region is needed to guarantee its liability.
argument 1 -- not OK. suggested: A national survey may not apply to this company.
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 415 350
No. of Characters: 2249 1500
No. of Different Words: 235 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.513 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.419 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.833 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 187 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 148 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 109 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 71 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.762 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.28 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.282 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.493 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.054 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5