Cover letter for a job in music industry
zoos are known as places to keep endangered animals in a protected
environment and teach the public about the delicate balance between animal
species and their habitats. Statistics reveal that there are about 600,000 birds and mammals are kept in the world's zoos. although it is believed those zoos are necessary to provide a safe environment, animals should not be kept in zoos for the following reasons.
The first reason is that animals will lose their important skills gradually if
they live in a zoo for a long time. endangered species will not know how to hunt
for food, protect themselves or find their mates on their own because of the unsuitable
environment. Dr. Rees (2009) reported that while elephants could contact with members of their own species to develop normal behavior patterns and friendship with complex social structure, elephants kept in small groups could not learn important
social skills such as finding a mate or greeting rituals. according to a team of
researchers from the University of Exeter in the United Kingdom (2008), the
natural behaviors needed for success in the wild of animals tend to lose due to
captivity. By reason of lack of fear towards humans and hunting skills, endangered
species could die if they were returned to their natural habitat. This research found that
captive-born carnivores were not only more vulnerable but also more likely to
starve to death than their wild-bred counterparts.
Another important reason is that the life expectancy of animals kept in zoos
tends to reduce dramatically. living in zoos means that animals have to face up
with a lot of mental and physical health problems that affect seriously animal’s
life circle (“Last chance for animal”, para.1). researchers compared the lifetimes
of elephants in Europe and reported that lifespan of animals living in natural
condition was about twice as long as their relatives kept in zoos (“zoos shorten
elephant’s life, para.2). The article “ Extension: animal prisoners” stated that the
median lifespan for African elephants in European zoos was 16.9 years, compared
with 56 years for elephants which died of natural causes.
Opponents of keeping animals in zoos say that endangered species, when living zoos, can be protected from many diseases that can kill animals if they live in a wild environment. that may be true in some extent. However, the fact is that animals can suffer from health problems in zoos. The article "stress and lack of exercise are killing elephants" reported that many of elephant's deaths were a link to suffering high-stress level after being transferred between zoos and separated from their mother. Besides, although elephants were well fed, they got very little exercise in their small enclosures so these elephants died of obesity. according to Department for the environment, Food and Rural Affairs which examined the welfare of 77 elephants in 13 UK zoos reported that the animals spent 83% of their time indoors and 71 were overweight, only 11 able to walk normally.
In conclusion, there are several reasons to stop keeping animals in zoos. it is
difficult to avoid losing innate behaviors of animals, reducing their lifetime when people force animals to live in zoos. people cannot keep endangered species in an artificial environment without freedom, animals have rights to live in their own ways.
Therefore, animals should not be kept in zoos.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Zoos
zoos are known as places to keep endangered ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 67, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
.... Statistics reveal that there are about 600,000 birds and mammals are kept in th...
^^
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Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Although
...nd mammals are kept in the worlds zoos. although it is believed those zoos are necessary...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ept in zoos for the following reasons. The first reason is that animals will lo...
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Line 5, column 37, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Endangered
...if they live in a zoo for a long time. endangered species will not know how to hunt for ...
^^^^^^^^^^
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Suggestion: According
... as finding a mate or greeting rituals. according to a team of researchers from the Univ...
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Suggestion: Living
... in zoos tends to reduce dramatically. living in zoos means that animals have to face...
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Suggestion: Researchers
...s;Last chance for animal', para.1. researchers compared the lifetimes of elephants in...
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Suggestion: That
...als if they live in a wild environment. that may be true in some extent. However, th...
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Suggestion: According
...res so these elephants died of obesity. according to Department for the environment, Food...
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Suggestion: It
...easons to stop keeping animals in zoos. it is difficult to avoid losing innate be...
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Suggestion: People
...n people force animals to live in zoos. people cannot keep endangered species in an ar...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, however, if, may, so, therefore, well, while, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 13.1623246493 175% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 7.85571142285 153% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 10.4138276553 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 7.30460921844 260% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 38.0 24.0651302605 158% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 81.0 41.998997996 193% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.3376753507 108% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2943.0 1615.20841683 182% => OK
No of words: 555.0 315.596192385 176% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.3027027027 5.12529762239 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.85370353223 4.20363070211 115% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73902558953 2.80592935109 98% => OK
Unique words: 281.0 176.041082164 160% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.506306306306 0.561755894193 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 882.0 506.74238477 174% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 5.0 2.52805611222 198% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 16.0721442886 131% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 20.2975951904 128% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 121.434416293 49.4020404114 246% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 140.142857143 106.682146367 131% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.4285714286 20.7667163134 127% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.52380952381 7.06120827912 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 27.0 4.38176352705 616% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 12.0 5.01903807615 239% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.67935871743 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 3.9879759519 301% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0421032711181 0.244688304435 17% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0139772147364 0.084324248473 17% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0222634894229 0.0667982634062 33% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0165486531236 0.151304729494 11% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0274053673915 0.056905535591 48% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.7 13.0946893788 128% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 50.2224549098 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 11.3001002004 119% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.76 12.4159519038 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.51 8.58950901804 99% => OK
difficult_words: 126.0 78.4519038076 161% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 9.78957915832 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.1190380762 123% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Maximum five paragraphs wanted.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 11.2359550562 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 0.67 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.