176. Holidays honor people or events. If you could create a new holiday, what person or event would it honor and how would you want people to celebrate it? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
People are some of the most important aspects of each realm's and society's culture and history. Certainly, there are lots of holidays in each country's calendar which honor especial person. It seems to me that, we should honor a person who helped both his country and people, or who had had the concern of destiny of society. Some people believe that, we should not concentrate on our previous ages events or think to their important individuals, they say just thinking to future is enough. On the other hand, a majority of people including me think that, we should appreciate who had efforts in a country. If I could add a new holiday to my country's calendar, Definitely, it would be the commemorate day of "Amir Kabir ", who was the prime minister of Iran in more than one hundred and fifty years ago. I will honor him because of his efforts in shifting our country to advanced country, also he had lots of tries in opposing injustice of kings, and the last reason is his innocence and his dim destiny.
The main reason of honoring great Amir Kabir is services which he served to our country. He was the prime minister of Iran in the past. On that time, Although, Iran was a rich country, no one thought to improvements and all of the officials just thought to their benefits. This behavior’s lead us loosing many valuable thing in country. But, Amir Kabir was not like other and helped his country. He offered a variety of benefits to Iran and paved the way of improvement in our country. For example, last year when I was studying in university I had to do research on Iran's history. During that research I found out that, He established first newspaper in Iran, He created first School and also he was the pioneer of developing academic education. Sending students to abroad for studying is a service no one will forget in Iran. Thus, I am positive that, creating one day in honor of Amir Kabir is the best one I can do.
Second reason is his tries to reducing tyrant’s power in country. All in all, in the past the main power of each land was king; doing anything no one could protest them. In Amir Kabir's period Iran's king was very fool, he annoyed people and bothered them. In contrast, prime minister loved people. In fact, opposing tyrant he helped people in many aspects. For instance, in one silly decision the king wanted to forgive parts of country to aliens or another example is increasing tax for providing financial for kings travels but ingenious Amir Kabir knew them and did not let king to do them. I am convinced that, without Amir Kabir our country would lose lots of things. He was positive individual and should be honored.
Last but not least, Amir kabir was very oppressed. He did many important and positive things for Iran, but at last while tyrant was drunk commenced to killing him. Ultimately, he was killed in his home near his family. No doubt, we have had number of people like him but we are forgetting all of them. Remembering such a person will help us to care more about good people in society. Therefore, I believe that, honoring Amir Kabir is the best action we can take to honor who worked for country.
In my opinion, dominating a day in calendar in honor of Amir Kabir is the best one. His hardworking for building the country, and also his efforts in saving people's benefit against tyrant, in addition his innocent destiny persuade me to honor him. Each country has had pioneers in its history, who wanted to build the country. Valuing them will motivate others to take part in countries destiny.
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Sentence: If I could add a new holiday to my country's calendar, Definitely, it would be the commemorate day of 'Amir Kabir ', who was the prime minister of Iran in more than one hundred and fifty years ago.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to the and commemorate
Sentence: This behavior's lead us loosing many valuable thing in country.
Description: The fragment behavior's lead us is rare
flaws:
No. of Words: 633 350 (write the essay in half an hour)
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 26 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 35 15
No. of Words: 633 350
No. of Characters: 2835 1500
No. of Different Words: 273 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.016 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.479 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.353 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 196 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 147 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 85 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.086 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.426 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.486 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.283 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.424 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.194 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5