Do you agree or dısagree with the following statement? Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use spesific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Technology has developed day by day.New technological devices are emerging almost eveyday. Most people use these devices in business,schools and household lives. One of the most widely used technological devices is television.With the invention of the television,most people has bought this tool and they continue to use it. While new technological devices are invented by creater,in this process,people are affected negatively from some ways. Communication is a good example for this situation. I agree with television has destroyed communication among friends and family.
First of all.nowadays,people spend a big period of lives by watching on television without business or school. For example, when a person who study at univesity come his home, he immediately turns on the television and he only focus on television.He gives all the attention to on television.His friends or familiy is not important for at the moment.When their friends call him to go to the outside to play soccer match or to talk about in many subject,he does not want to go to the outside with his friends because of addiction of television.Moreover,every home has a television.When we think that in every home live at least three people,relationships of these people with each other are affected negatively due to television.Because mother or father take away the control to watch on televison.They can not share their grief and happiness.So,they can not be awareness from each other.
Second of all,some people think that television does not have negative impacts on the people.Communication among friends and family never see any hurt.They also say that if the people watch on televison,they can develop themselves by watching educational programs and this situation contribute positively among friends and family.These programs can be beneficial for communication between people.However,number of educational programs are very few on television.Also other programs which are unnecessary and unimportant affect negatively people's communication.Because these programs do not have any educational ways.
In conclusion, when everything is taken into consideration,we see that people can not connect with each to talk about something and their relationships with each other can damage,communication which is important for people destroy among friends and family
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Sentence: For example, when a person who study at univesity come his home, he immediately turns on the television and he only focus on television.He gives all the attention to on television.
Description: The fragment univesity come his is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace come with verb, past tense
Sentence: New technological devices are emerging almost eveyday.
Error: eveyday Suggestion: everyday
Sentence: For example, when a person who study at univesity come his home, he immediately turns on the television and he only focus on television.He gives all the attention to on television.
Error: univesity Suggestion: university
Sentence: His friends or familiy is not important for at the moment.
Error: familiy Suggestion: family
Sentence: When we think that in every home live at least three people, relationships of these people with each other are affected negatively due to television.Because mother or father take away the control to watch on televison.They can not share their grief and happiness.So,they can not be awareness from each other.
Error: televison Suggestion: television
flaws:
Sentence Length SD: 13.588 7.5
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 380 350
No. of Characters: 1943 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.415 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.113 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.876 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 136 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 74 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.588 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.526 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.321 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.496 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.142 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5