Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Being Successful, what does it mean exactly? Does it mean to be rich? Or perhaps anyone can be successful in any field. This is an important issue, since it focus on a very vague aspect of our lives which is success. We can't measure success based only on one aspect without considering other credentials and achievements on other aspects as well. Because of this I don't think to be successful only, you have to earn as money as you can, for so many reasons.
First of all, there is a lot of successful artiest and performers, and many other different professionals who are gaining a lot of money for what they do. That doesn't make them losers, it make them more successful since they are not considering the money as their ultimate goal, but something more important which is their art, music and people smile after they finish their show. Another example, is Van Gogh, the great artist who didn't have money to eat, but he is one of the greatest artist in history.
Also, Some people will get a great amount of money without any effort. Can you say there are successful? I would say lucky but for sure not successful. Some people might inherent a fortune or win the lottery without doing anything at all. This point contrasts the idea that success is related to money and money only.
Finally, most scientist work for the sake of knowledge without any financial return. For example, Darwin spent all the money he had on his trips that's led to his evolution theory. We still remember Darwin because of his discoveries not because of his money, thus Success is not related to money by any mean.
In conclusion, Success can't be simply defined by the figures in your bank account. It's much bigger than this, and since money is not everything in life you can't relate success to it.
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Sentence: This is an important issue, since it focus on a very vague aspect of our lives which is success.
Description: The fragment it focus on is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace focus with verb, past tense
Sentence: That doesn't make them losers, it make them more successful since they are not considering the money as their ultimate goal, but something more important which is their art, music and people smile after they finish their show.
Description: The fragment it make them is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace make with verb, past tense
Sentence: Some people might inherent a fortune or win the lottery without doing anything at all.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to might and inherent
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 321 350
No. of Characters: 1426 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.233 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.442 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.348 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 85 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 62 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 30 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.895 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.258 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.579 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.3 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.538 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.169 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5