Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only people who earn a lot of money are successful.
The assertion, linking being successful negatively with having no money, plays a pivot role in recent century. Solving copious amount of problems, money find very vigorous place among people. Unfortunately, a vast majority of people does not want from world just money. Some people might deceive the others to reach more money. It would be conceivable that in this era, nobody can survive without money. Nonetheless, from my vantage point money is not the only way to be successful.
Being in a vanguard position of reasons, moral satisfaction is beyond of just having money. It cannot be denied that money might smooth the way of reaching goal but it is not adequate to be successful. Money can just benefit us in mundane events. It is so cogent that we, human, have the other dimension, morality, which we should care about it. Having cursory glance in life of wealthy people, we would be aware of many problems demonstrating that not only cannot they be successful in a typical life, but also they are so disappointed. Although, they could have acquired a plenty amount of money, but they couldn’t find the way of being fortunate. Furthermore, it would be hebetude, if we just consider money as criterion of success.
Additionally, There are lots of people with massive possession of property and due to they have lots of money, yet they don’t have any friend at all, so did, no close relation. They are really alone. As we all know that being alone can be the worst tribulation, which one can have in this world. If money were the only way of success or fortune, these people never would be in these bad emotional feelings. While, there are many people who are not very rich, but they enjoy their life extensively because they find out how to can be successful. In word, the life of people can confirm that the only way of being successful is not just having money.
Admittedly, we observe numerous ones that reach to unimaginably amount of money, because they were successful. Today, the number of young billioners is not few. Let’s take an illustrating example. Mike Zukerburg in a very creative way made the biggest social network. After this innovation, he really became one of the richest people in the world. Every day the more people are added to this social network, the more money he reaches. People such as Mike can corroborate that it would be much money after success and this would be the delicious taste of success.
In nutshell, with all the aspects mentioned above combined, I strongly champion the idea that, to have plenty amount of money could facilitate the way of reaching success but it is not just whole.
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2015-02-12 | wellington025 | 80 | view |
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Sentence: Solving copious amount of problems, money find very vigorous place among people.
Description: The fragment money find very is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace find with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Sentence: Additionally, There are lots of people with massive possession of property and due to they have lots of money, yet they don't have any friend at all, so did, no close relation.
Description: Don't put a complete sentence after 'Due to'
Sentence: In nutshell, with all the aspects mentioned above combined, I strongly champion the idea that, to have plenty amount of money could facilitate the way of reaching success but it is not just whole.
Description: Are you sure 'champion' is used properly?
flaws:
Introduction is not developed well.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 458 350
No. of Characters: 2109 1500
No. of Different Words: 218 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.626 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.605 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.423 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.963 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.628 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.481 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.307 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.462 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5