Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Watching television is bad for children. Use specific details and examples to support your answer.
Today, everyone in modern era has television in home. Television has negative effects especially for children. They becomes lazy to do their homework, change their own attitude, and also in health especially their eyes. Hence, I support statement that television can create disadvantages for kids.
Firstly, children get lazy to do anything because he always stays in front of television. Especially, if most favorite program is plays on, they will get lazy to move. They become lazy to do anything, especially if they get homework. Watching television is important point, homework can do then. It can cause lower score in school. For instance, my sister is four-year-old and still in pre-school. But, she is likes watching “gossip girl” serial-television very much. My mother always remembering her to do her homework but she ignore her. She is watching seriously. If my mother screams to her, she will cry. In fact, she has got lower score for every subject such as drawing, singing, sport and so on.
Secondly, television can create children’s behavior. Mostly, children follows what they see because they do not know what is bad or good attitude. For example, my brother is six-year-old who is still in elementary school. He likes “smack down” very much. He always watches before he goes to school. And he does not reliaze that he practice to follow smack-down-styles. Therefore, he has bad attitude.
Thirdly, the most dangerous effects are healthy. Because kids always see television, their eyes become ill. For example, when I was young girl, I always watch cartoons such as doraemon, shinchan, power ranger and so on, for entire weekend. And I stay very closed to it. Few years later, my eyes were getting sick. I came to doctor and he said that I should use glasses. Therefore, I still use glasses until now.
In conclusion, television is not good for almost children’s life. Laziness, healthiness, and bad attitude are some examples of bad effects.
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Sentence: They becomes lazy to do their homework, change their own attitude, and also in health especially their eyes.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to They and becomes
Sentence: Especially, if most favorite program is plays on, they will get lazy to move.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to is and plays
Sentence: My mother always remembering her to do her homework but she ignore her.
Description: The fragment she ignore her is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace ignore with verb, past tense
Sentence: Mostly, children follows what they see because they do not know what is bad or good attitude.
Description: The fragment children follows what is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace follows with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Sentence: And he does not reliaze that he practice to follow smack-down-styles.
Description: The fragment he practice to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace practice with verb, past tense
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
Avg. Sentence Length: 10.8 21.0 (need more compound or complex sentences)
Sentence Length SD: 5.332 7.5
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 30 15
No. of Words: 324 350
No. of Characters: 1565 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.243 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.83 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.721 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 113 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 84 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 10.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.332 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.27 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.46 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.178 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5