Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.
In today families, many parents believe that children do not need to work, while the income of parents is enough for expenses such as university tuition. On the other hand, some individuals emphasize on part-time jobs for other reasons rather than their incomes. In my point of view, youngsters should take part in a profession because it provides them with great experiences. Also, it gives a chance to increase the teenagers’ knowledge about different professions. In this way, they will also be more careful on how they spend their money.
The first aspect to point out is that children become more experienced by taking up jobs. It is obvious that there are a lot of rules that are not written anywhere, but they should be obeyed in work environments. For instance, in many shopping centers the sellers try to provide as much facilities for customers as they can. In this approach, they will make their sale more and more by convincing their buyers. This law has not written anywhere, but as it can increase the interest of the companies, it should be obeyed by workers. Therefore, a teenager can gain a lot valuable experiences by working just a few hours of his or her spare time.
Apart from the point I made above, one cannot oversee is the fact that many adults had chosen their jobs without having even a little knowledge of them. During school hours, the time for providing students for their future job and acknowledging them with different occupations, is negligible. However, any individual can fine his or her interests just by experiencing one of those works for few hours.
Another point deserving some words here is that many grown-ups never learn how to spend their money for necessary needs. Learning is a process that should begin in first years of life. Therefore, by giving pocket money to children and encouraging teenager to work, they will learn how difficult it is to earn money and they will be more careful on how they spend it.
In a word owing to aforementioned reasonable causes and elucidations described in previous paragraphs, it appears to be good to draw the well founded conclusion that it is the best way to encourage teenagers to try part-time jobs because they will gain a lot of experience and they will choose their future jobs with wider knowledge. In this way, they also understand how they should spend their incomes.
Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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2013-12-02 | ali.darudi | 80 | view |
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Comments
thank you for your comment.
thank you for your comment. but I do not know much about discourse markers. can you give me some examples of such words in my essay?
In my point of view The first
In my point of view
The first aspect to point out is that
It is obvious
Apart from the point I made above, one cannot oversee is the fact that
Another point deserving some words here is that
In a word owing to aforementioned reasonable causes and elucidations described in previous paragraphs
In this way
flaws:
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.789 0.12
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 406 350
No. of Characters: 1914 1500
No. of Different Words: 205 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.489 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.714 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.564 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 120 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.368 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.729 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.789 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.291 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.515 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.077 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5