Do you agree or disagree with the statement that school should finance social activities rather than students' diets.
Who has not had a complaint about the quality of the school’s food at least once during the school life? Think about it and it is probably that this issue has been common for you. It is known that a correct diet influences directly in the perform of the students. Thus, many students have prejuditial results in their school life due to a lack of good alimentation: Personally, I disagree with the statement because of having a better diet is preferable than having better social activities regarding the following arguments.
First and foremost, a correct combination of aliments is factor to have a good health. Most of the days, we can watch on TV many advertisements of a wide variety of types of food. Hence, there are aliments which are processed and industrialized, and others are natural. School has the obligation to decide which kind of food is distributed in its facility considering the important factor that this combination of food must imply an improvement in the health of its students. By this way, the school will have healthy students; in other words, students which do not have problems with heart and stomach mainly.
Secondly, good health in students implies a better students’ predisposition for social activities. Some of these activities involve a good physical condition as for example sports or plays. If it is considered that pupils do not have a correct diet, they do not probably have forces enough to develop these activities or they do not want to do them as well, due to a probably bad nutrition. School, by investing in students’ diets, will collaborate to they have a good fitness in order to share time with friends in social activities. If school just finances the social activities and forgets its responsibility on diet, it is possible that the majority of students do not participate in them due to some health problems.
Last but not least, diet implies directly in the development of the intellectual capacity of students. As it is probably known by you, if students or workers do not have a good nutrition, they will not have a correct develop of their skills during their work or school times. This is due to that the body needs nutrients which split through all the organs. By lack of correct aliments in the students’ bodies, there will be less catching of knowledge. Therefore, they will have a bad scores in their exams.
In a nutshell, regarding all these arguments, I consider that in order to have fitter, healthy and concentrated students is necessary that the school invest in the diet of its pupils. If it does not the case, it is probable that many of them do not share time in school social activities.
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Sentence: School, by investing in students' diets, will collaborate to they have a good fitness in order to share time with friends in social activities.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to to and they
Sentence: As it is probably known by you, if students or workers do not have a good nutrition, they will not have a correct develop of their skills during their work or school times.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to correct and develop
Sentence: In a nutshell, regarding all these arguments, I consider that in order to have fitter, healthy and concentrated students is necessary that the school invest in the diet of its pupils.
Description: The fragment school invest in is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace invest with verb, past participle
Sentence: Thus, many students have prejuditial results in their school life due to a lack of good alimentation: Personally, I disagree with the statement because of having a better diet is preferable than having better social activities regarding the following arguments.
Error: alimentation Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: prejuditial Suggestion: prejudicial
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 458 350
No. of Characters: 2148 1500
No. of Different Words: 193 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.626 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.69 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.698 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 150 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 108 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 83 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.81 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.948 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.328 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.521 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.116 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5