It is generally agreed that society benefits from the work of its members. Compare the contributions of artists to society with the contributions of scientists to society. Which type of contribution do you think is valued more by society? Give specific reasons to support your answer.
Although we can not ignore the contributions of artists to the society, I believe that that those of scientists are more valued by society.
To begin with, the work of scientists is extremely important because it makes our daily life more and more convenient. Whenever we look around the place we live, we find so many technological things such as dishwasher, washing machine, TV, refrigerator, microwave and computer. All of them have been created by scientists. As we all know, those machines made our life significantly convenient and comfortable. We no longer need to spend so much time doing house errands, which allows us to focus on study, work, relax and spend quality time with our friends and family. On the other hand, the creations of artists are mainly related to art and music, which can entertain us and provide enjoyable time. However, we would not have problems without them.
In addition to the previous point, people can live longer due to the scientists work such as development of medicine. In the past time, if people become cancer or diabetes, there were no treatment. Therefore, people could not have any hope, suffered from severe pain and just had to wait to die. However, nowadays, not only can we get treatment to live longer but also early detection allow us to fight off the disease. There are almost no contributions of artists that save our lives or keep us healthy.
To sum up, although the works of artists enrich our lives, the contributions of scientists are necessary to our lives. We can not have a better life without the discovery and creation of scientist.
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Sentence: Although we can not ignore the contributions of artists to the society, I believe that that those of scientists are more valued by society.
Description: The fragment that that contains a repeated word
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Sentence: However, nowadays, not only can we get treatment to live longer but also early detection allow us to fight off the disease.
Description: The fragment detection allow us is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace allow with verb, past tense
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 158 200
May be one more paragraph.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 273 350
No. of Characters: 1284 1500
No. of Different Words: 158 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.065 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.703 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.607 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 83 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 64 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 42 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.969 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.343 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.518 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.192 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5