Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Success is only achieved through discipline and hard work.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Everyone wants to be successful in their lives. It is our nature to dream success whatever we do. Some people may argue that success comes from being lucky, whereas others disagree. I believe that success is only achieved through discipline and hard work.
To begin with, even though one have a physically perfect body, one cannot become a professional sport player without having so many hours of training. It is necessary to possess strong body muscles, which can be obtain only through hard work. For example, when I was in high school, I belonged to a basketball club. I was short so I practiced every day much longer than my teammates in order to learn skills and to build up my muscles. On the other hand, one of my teammates did not put much effort in daily practices because she thought she had advantages of being tall. The result was I was a much better player than her due to my hard work. Besides, I am now reading a book called Outliers. The book talks about what successful people have in common. It says that all famous sports players and musical professionals invested their time in practice.
In addition to the previous point, one can get promotion and succeed in a company only when one work hard and is able to impress she or his boss. Even though one is extremely intelligent, if she or he is not willing to make a lot of effort, it is very unlikely to have a successful position.
To sum up, although some people think that luck can bring them a successful life, I strongly believe that we cannot succeed in our lives without discipline and dedication.
Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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2013-06-07 | pkesf52513 | 87 | view |
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Sentence: To begin with, even though one have a physically perfect body,
Suggestion: To begin with, even though one has a physically perfect body,
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 283 350
No. of Characters: 1260 1500
No. of Different Words: 168 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.102 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.452 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.45 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 87 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 61 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 35 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.688 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.405 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.315 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.502 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.147 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5