Kaplan 4th edition -
Sample Practice 1 -
Ernest Hemingway
Ernest Hemingway was one of the greatest writers in the history of America who lived during the first half of the 20th century; he even won a Pulitzer Prize. Critics have very different views on Hemingway and also the writer and the speaker have not the same opinion. While the writer talks negative about him, the speaker has a positive view and appreciates his work.
Hemingway worked as a journalist and that influenced his work. The writer argues, that his novels and books relate too much from his own life, are way too personal and his nonfiction are not realistic. In contrast, the speaker supports this. According to her, every action in his books is described extremely realistic, especially the conversations.
In the lecture the author says, that Hemingway’s way of writing is not complex enough and he is not able to write in a good rhetorical style. Furthermore, he cannot describe situations with enough adjectives and characterizes women in a negative way. Compared with this, the speaker says that Hemingway does not need rhetorical tricks and is able to explain very complex ideas in a simple way. Furthermore, she supports his direct style in his work. Regarding the women issue, the speaker argues that Hemingway tried to write out of the perspective of a woman and does this very successfully. In addition to that, she likes that Hemingway uses the technique of inference, which means, that he leaves out details and the reader has to think about the story and solve the puzzle by him or herself.
Overall, the speaker has a very positive view on Hemingway’s work and admits that this depends on personal preference. For her, Hemingway is a genius. The writer instead leaves almost no positive words on him, but mentions that he was awarded a lot.
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flaws:
The content is not well organized.
The correct pattern:
para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3
Don't need to reiterate the contents of reading passages.
Don't need a conclusion.
Read sample essays from ETS:
http://www.testbig.com/users/toeflwritingmaster
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 10
No. of Words: 301 250
No. of Characters: 1430 1200
No. of Different Words: 149 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.165 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.751 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.577 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 73 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.812 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.443 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.344 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.531 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.168 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4