In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at a young age.

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In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at a young age.

Although some people do not care about bringing up their future children and they behave with them like a time that they always can support their own little cute baby, but it seems to me parents should behave with their children in a way to manage their own money at a young age to become financially responsible adults.

To begin with, consider the parents who spoiled their kids by preparing everything which they need or do not; in fact, they utilize this main line for raising their kids; so, kids bring up dependent and without any confidence of living alone; they cannot get along with people, the society, and generally with their future life. The main problem is in the way that they have been raised; they do not know how to manage their money to spend or even waste. For example, one of my close friends was famous with generosity and wearing expensive and brand clothes; she was the only kid in her family and their parents thought that they have to obtain everything for her; she brought up like this without feeling any need for anything. One year she got admission for a university in abroad; at the same time her father broke and could not financially support her daughter like before; so, after a short time, she could not afford her life and finally she reluctantly came back to her home.

In contrast with the above story, I know so many people that their parents behave them in a reasonable way; beside that they prepare convenient stuff for their children, they learn them how to manage their own money. For example, they give their children money monthly; they manage their money for their expenses like school, clothe, and having entertainment. Gradually children learn to become responsible and independent for their future life.

To put the issues into a nutshell, learning children to manage their own money at a young age help them to become financially responsible adults for their future job.

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flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 37.111 21.0

Better to use period instead of semicolon

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 334 350
No. of Characters: 1550 1500
No. of Different Words: 163 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.275 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.641 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.261 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 99 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 61 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 37 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 37.111 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.169 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.447 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.677 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.23 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5