Playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them.
Although some people believe that playing computer games programs is a waste of time and children shouldn't be allowed to play them, but it seems to me playing computer games should be done in moderation. There are some issues about utilizing computer games as a hobby.
First, in comparison with the past, our parent's generation, the technology has made everything easier that lifestyle is one of them; raising children or it is better to say, the next generation is one of the most important aspects of every life. As you know preparing the suitable and healthy entertainments, for spending their free times, has involved the parents. On the other side, today we deal with the lack of time to take care of children then we are looking forward to finding some efficient and responsive ways, both for children and parents, to fill the children's spare times and save the parent's times; so in this situation computer games are useful; the computer games are amazing, attractive and of course they are educational too, but as it is obvious in all markets selling some junk products is frequent; choosing a computer program should be based on considering the mentioned factors, that the third one is at the first level of importance.
Second, playing computer games should be done under the parent's attention. Sometimes it is necessary to play them with your child; it works to investigate the game that it is a good game or not.
Third, playing the computer game should be done in moderation; spending too much time on these games is really harmful and had some irreversible effects on children, whether mental or physical. Then for preventing the side effects, it is better to confine the use of these games as a hobby.
To sum up, the computer games are the fact in children's hobbies and it is not possible to separate them completely from the entertaining ways; using these products in moderation and under parent's considerations are the important points of playing these games.
- Some people say that the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Other think access to so much information creates problems. Which do you agree with? 70
- The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide. 80
- Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they already know how to do well. 90
- In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at a young age. 70
- People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment – doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do. 70
flaws:
The content is not well organized for the second paragraph. Try this pattern:
Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree.
Para 2:First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).
Para 3:Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing like First
Para 4:Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing like First but shorter
Para 5: Conclusion.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 337 350
No. of Characters: 1609 1500
No. of Different Words: 167 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.285 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.774 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.629 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 107 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.636 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 20.557 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.818 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.403 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.663 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.154 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5