Some people prefer to spend their free time outdoors. Other people to spend their leisure time indoors. Would you prefer to be outside or to be inside for your leisure activities? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your choice.
Some people prefer to spend their free time indoors because they can take care of their skin and save their money. Personally, I think, spending leisure time outdoors is healthier and enjoyable than indoors.
First, people who use their spare time outdoors create their body healthier. They are being healthier because they can move their body and can expedite blood circulation. When I get period, I always leisure my free time to play basketball with my friend because I do not feel stomachache when I do it.
Furthermore, people who take up the time outdoors feel more enjoyable. For example, when holiday come, I always devote my spare time outdoors with my friend. Our favorite place is thousand islands. We feel pleasurable when we visit that place. We can play banana boat, snorkeling, and travel around thousand islands with bicycle. Beside, The scenery of thousand islands is very beautiful, and can prevent us from stressful. The water of the sea there is very clear and we can see several of fish from surface water.
On the other hand, some people would exert their free time indoors because they can fend for their skin. Especially for women, actually most women always spend their free time at beauty treatment because that can make their skin shinier and their appearance become more beautiful. Therefore, people can save their money if they do their activity in their home. They can watch DVD and play PlayStation with their friend or their relatives.
In conclusion, both of activities are more interest to do. If the people utilize their leisure time outdoors, they can feel pleasant and healthier. Then, if the people spend their spare time outdoor, they can keep their money and take care of their skin. In my opinion, I choose outdoor place to devote my free time.
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Sentence: They are being healthier because they can move their body and can expedite blood circulation.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to can and expedite
Sentence: When I get period, I always leisure my free time to play basketball with my friend because I do not feel stomachache when I do it.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to leisure and my
Sentence: Especially for women, actually most women always spend their free time at beauty treatment because that can make their skin shinier and their appearance become more beautiful.
Error: shinier Suggestion: shiner
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 141 200
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.15 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.294 7.5
Need more compound or complex sentences.
Make sure you used 'However' properly according to the topic. better to support only one side:
para 1: introduction. my opinion: A or B. agree or disagree
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion: because of reasons 1,2,3, so i choose A/B or agree/disagree.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 303 350
No. of Characters: 1440 1500
No. of Different Words: 141 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.172 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.752 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.234 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 90 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 65 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 39 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.15 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.294 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.55 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.356 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.54 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.156 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5