Some people thinks that we learn our most important lessons in school. Others think that the knowledge we acquire outside of school is the most important. which one do you agree and why?
I believe that the most important part of knowledge we acquire along our life is obtained from experiences other than what we learn in schools, and school education has just a minor part in development of our knowledge about ourselves and the world we are living in.
Approximately, all children around the world start their school education around the age six. The official education begins with learning the basic skills like reading and writing. Over several years, it gradually becomes complicated and tries to provide background knowledge about various issues that one may encounter during a life period; for example, mathematics, sociology, biology, economy, and etc.
However, school years are just the first step of the whole knowledge one may obtain in a life. It is just like some raw material in hands of people. It is rather like a primitive tool which enables individuals exploring the unknown world around them. For example, a student may know how water may go through the hydrological circle by cyclic evaporation and precipitation. However, it is just in a echo-tourism camp that s/he learns how to utilize this simple fact to purify the water that is unsuitable for drinking.
In a larger prospect, it should be indicated that the most applicable and valuable knowledge that one may obtain is knowing the self and the rules for interacting with others. Human beings are sociable and need to have regular contacts and interaction. Taking a social role which properly fits and learning how to manage different social situation is a matter of continuous learning by experiencing real world not only under the controlled conditions of schools education. For instance, we all may theoretically learn that how to manage our anger at school. But the only way we can be sure that we learn the lesson by heart is the time we try to sooth our anger in a real social setting.
To sum it up, although the school education is important; however, the life itself is the greatest school and has the most significant role in making up our knowledge and expanding our understanding.
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Comments
In 4th paragraph I tried to
In 4th paragraph I tried to state that most of our social knowledge is based on our experiences out of the school setting.
Is the concept out of the topic? or the structure is faulty?
You need to be more straight
You need to be more straight forward. It is not clear from the topic sentence.
Nothing wrong with the structure.
flaws:
The fourth paragraph is a little out of topic. 'knowing the self and the rules for interacting with others' is not equal to 'out of school'. There are social roles in schools too.
An essay out of topic may result at a low essay mark. So read essay topics carefully.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 350 350
No. of Characters: 1698 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.325 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.851 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.708 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.255 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.533 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.325 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.571 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.133 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5