Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible, other want to live along their parents as long as they can. Discuss what will you choose

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Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible, other want to live along their parents as long as they can. Discuss what will you choose

According to my belief and my naive experience, I think that, irrespective of the wish of the young adults, they should, and infect must leave their parents as soon as possible. As, sooner a person learns to stand on his/ her feet, it will be much better for him/her, because it is very necessary for everyone to learn to look at the people, society and in fact whole world through their own perspective, as only then they will learn to live in the world comfortably and get success. Every time I hear about the "standing on your own feet" in the world, the words started to buzz in my mind from a movie. The name of the movie I actually don't remember, but the words, I do. In this movie a father is giving a lecture to his son and said "this world is not a sunshine and rainbows, it is a very rude and a nasty place, and it will beat you down on your knees if you don't strive and don't speak for you own, and you have to learn all this if you want to succeed". And these ability of speak and strive cannot be learned by staying with and getting help from parents.

For explaining this deeper I want yo give an example from my own life. When I was in middle school, I was being bullied by seniors. My life became so miserable that I was terrified to go to school. When my parents get to know al about this, the changed my school in 9th grade and put me in boarding school. I was even more terrified about that decision, but my father said that you will have no problems in new school, "I will take care of everything, but in the end you have to fight this world alone when we will not around". It kind of encouraged me to move farther by defeating all the problems in life. Since then I am living away form my parents, and now I have ability of doing best in any situation, and also this is the reason why my principal acknowledged me in my recommendation as persistent and a person with the quality of go-getter.

So, these are the reasons I think that a person must leave his/her parents, though not end relationship, obviously, with them, in order to get success in life.

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Sentence: It kind of encouraged me to move farther by defeating all the problems in life.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to It and kind

flaws:
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5

better to have 5 paragraphs:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 403 350
No. of Characters: 1624 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.48 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.03 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.249 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 86 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 57 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 32 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 21 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.786 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.558 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.643 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.37 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.508 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.168 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5